The Limo Ride Of Your Life..."Stretch"

Stretch (2014)

Rated R

Starring Patrick Wilson, Ed Helms, Chris Pine, Brooklyn Decker, Jessica Alba

Directed by Joe Carnahan

The Story:

Stretch (Wilson) is a down on his luck limo driver who owes a lot of money to a bookie, and if he doesn't pay it off tonight...well, things are going to get ugly. Luckily, his fare for the evening is Roger Karos (Pine) who makes Stretch a deal. If he can run a few errands for him, then his tip will pay off the debt and Stretch will be free and clear. Somehow, it's not going to be that easy...

This is a crazy ride to be sure.

That Stretch came to LA to be an actor, he'll get to finally hone those skills during his adventures this evening.

He's also accompanied by Karl (Helms) who is the ghost of his mentor. Or Stretch's conscience, if Jiminy Cricket were an overbearing jerk. :)

If you ever saw Smokin' Aces and enjoyed it, then Carnahan brings more of his wit and craziness to the table for you.

You'll get sucked in watching things go from bad to worse for Stretch, and wonder what the heck just happened when it's all over.

:)

Currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+

A Murder Most 'Meh'... "A Kind Of Murder"

A Kind of Murder (2016)

Rated R

Starring Patrick Wilson, Jessica Biel, Hayley Bennett, Eddie Marsan, Vincent Kartheiser

Directed by Andy Goddard

The Story:

Walter (Wilson) is a successful architect by day and budding detective novelist by night. His wife Clara (Biel) is unsupportive at best, and things just aren't right between them. Walter longs to be with Ellie (Bennett) instead. However Walter's obsession with a seemingly perfect unsolved murder may prove to be his very undoing.

Welcome to a throwback noir thriller set in 1960s New York.

The production values are stellar as it looks and feels as if the film and everything in it is straight from a bygone era.

The problem comes about from the story itself.

The perfect murder in question is pretty much just that, perfect.

You have the weaselly suspect (Marsan) and the overeager detective (Kartheiser) and these characters will go about making Walter's life unbearable.

But that's just it, it almost is unbearable.

His fascination with what could have happened makes him the suspect when his own wife is murdered, and naturally he lies and then lies some more.

The book upon which this is based is titled The Blunderer.

You'll feel like that is a very apt title the longer you watch the film.

Watchable, but in the end, rather unsatisfying.

Final Grade: C-

Living In The Wild Wild West..."Bone Tomahawk"

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Not Rated (R)

Starring Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox, Richard Jenkins, Lili Simmons,

Written and Directed by S. Craig Zahler

The Story:

When two robbers stumble across an Indian burial ground, one is killed and one makes his way to the nearest town. The problem, these Indians have followed him, and they kidnap him from the jail along with a deputy and the town doctor (Simmons) and make their way back into the night. The sheriff (Russell), his deputy (Jenkins) the doctor's husband (Wilson) and the man (Fox) who feels guilt for having brought the doctor to the jail in the first place set off on a quest to save the abducted.

I'm not sure, I think people will either love this one, or hate it.

It's a western, and then in the final act, it quickly changes to a horror movie with some disturbing kills in it.

By then, it may be too little, too late for those that were hoping it was a horror movie much sooner.

Why?

This movie is long.

As in 3 or 4 additional o's loooong.

Clocking in at over 2 hours can be the cinematic equivalent to career suicide, and this points back to a first time writer/director who doesn't know what or when to say cut or to edit a scene down.

I actually didn't mind many of the conversations that the characters had as they set off on their journey. The actors did a nice job of bringing the script to life. But there could have been a few less, or the journey hurried up just a bit to get somewhere between 90 and 120 minutes just as easily.

Plus, I think the deliberate slow pace makes the change in tone at the end of the movie even more jarring. We've sat through 90 minutes of not much happening, and then suddenly everything is happening in such horrific fashion that it becomes unsettling.

Still, I'm glad I watched it.  The film stayed with me for some time, but it's easy to see the many flaws, as well as the many good parts that shone through.

I'll be waiting Zahler's next effort, I just hope he uses a bit more judicious editing.

Currently streaming on Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range