Boy, That's A Mouthful... "Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets"

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna,

Directed by Luc Besson

The Story:

A space station has carried out a galactic mission of peace for generations, welcoming new races to join until this station is now comprised of about... a thousand planets. However, that peace may be coming to an end unless peace-keeping special operatives Valerian (DeHaan) and his partner Laureline (Delevingne) can save the day.

Okay, besides the mouthful of an overlong title, there was nothing in this trailer that screamed "must see!" to me.

It pretty much tanked at the box office as it failed to find an audience.

I got my copy through Netflix, and shortly thereafter, it found a streaming home on Amazon Prime.

I pretty much saw it for one reason only: Luc Besson.

Normally, I've enjoyed any Besson helmed (or often written by) production.

And there were indeed some interesting/fun parts to this movie.

But at nearly 2 and a half hours, this overlong production was simply weighed down by the fact that the two stars have all the charisma and chemistry of wet paper towels.

You try and buy into the premise, and then they remind you that it's hard to take it, or them, seriously.

Seriously, put this one next to Besson's masterpiece from 2 decades earlier, The Fifth Element,  and you might see what I'm saying. However, I don't think anyone will ever mistake Bruce Willis for Dane DeHaan.

Or to put it another way, when Rihanna is the best part of the movie, you know something has seriously come off the rails.

:)

I did make it through the whole thing, so there is that, but it wasn't easy, and I can't say I recommend it.

But if you have 3 hours to kill and have seen everything else that's out there, judge for yourself.


Final Grade: D

A Step Up In The Prequel Game... "Alien: Covenant"

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Rated R

Starring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demian Bichir, Carmen Ejogo,

Directed by Ridley Scott

The Story:

It's been over a decade since the Prometheus mission failed miserably. Now, as the colony ship Covenant is heading towards its destination, a strange SOS lures it to a habitable planet. Ah, but what the crew doesn't realize is that the android David (Fassbender) has been up to all sorts of shenanigans in the meantime.

So basically Covenant goes all in with what Prometheus only teased audiences with: the Aliens.

If you're going to be the prequel for one of the greatest science fiction movie of all time, you have to eventually show us the little face-huggers.

Prometheus hinted at it, but mostly beat around the bushes about what story they were trying to tell.

Now, we're putting it straight into the title, and finding out that androids are directly responsible for the misery inflicted by these evil critters.

Fassbender gets to play dual roles as androids who are both good and evil, as one by one, the crew of the Covenant fall prey to David's dreams of godhood.

Still, it's enjoyable as the series comes ever closer to going full circle, and Scott apparently has plans for a few more of these.

Much like the Terminator series, anything after the first 2 has never lived up to the originals, but at least they're trying to create an overall narrative and salvage what they can go forward.

Final Grade: C+

That's "Life"

Life (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, Olga Dykhovichnaya

Directed by Daniel Espinosa

The Story:

6 of the world's finest astronauts are trying to collect a soil sample from Mars aboard the International Space Station. When they discover a single cell organism, they have proof that life on Mars exists. As they further experiment, they soon discover that this life wants to grow and be free...at any cost.

This movie seems very familiar.

If you've seen Alien, you've pretty much already seen this film, except they don't really leave much room for a plethora of sequels and prequels.

However, maybe that's a good thing? :)

Now I'm one to suspend belief as much as humanly possible during a film, but there was one scene that really bugged me, is they reference for Re-Animator.

Yes, it's an off-the-cuff quip from Reynolds character, but it drove me buggy. Because how can he realize he's watching something out of Re-Animator, and never acknowledge what is happening is straight out of Alien?!?!

I know, I'm over-thinking this likely, but it's things like that, and then watching each astronaut make stupid choice after stupid choice that gets them killed (oops...spoiler) that just made the movie annoying enough to not love it.

Totally watchable, sure, but nothing in the horror/sci-fi genre that I would need to revisit any time soon.

Final Grade: B-

The Fate Of The World Is In Tom Cruise's Hands..."Edge Of Tomorrow"

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

PG-13

Starring Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton,

Directed by Doug Liman

The Story:

An alien menace has invaded earth in the near future, and they are wreaking havoc across Europe and Asia. The world forces are combined to stop them, and on the eve of a massive attack to stop them, an American officer (Cruise) who works public relations is forced to join the ranks of the fighters. While trying to survive, he notices the war's greatest fighter (Blunt) just before she is killed. Suddenly the enemy is upon him and then... he wakes up to start the last day over again. And again. And again. Can the valuable lessons he learns each day keep him alive, and help him turn the tide of the war?

So how did this movie fail at the box office?

It is a well-done production, from start to finish.

The easiest guess, the title blows. :)

It sounds like a cheesy soap opera from daytime tv that you must tune in to tomorrow to find out who's backstabbing who!

The tagline for the film: Live. Die. Repeat. is actually better (and much more accurate) than the title itself.

It could be the sci-fi genre itself. It doesn't exactly appeal to every moviegoer out there, although Guardians of the Galaxy could argue against that rule of movies.

:D

Or perhaps people have tired of Tom Cruise?

That seems the most likely scenario.

Which is both amusing, and sad at the same time.

Cruise has been playing Tom Cruise his entire career, so why are people getting tired of him now?

He actually does a fine job in this film, starting as a coward who grows into a hero as the movie progresses.

If you passed it by in theaters, don't let this one get away on DVD.


Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch this one again, pretty entertaining from start to finish.

It Took Nearly 30 Years For This "Cocoon" To Be Watched Again

Cocoon (1985)

Rated PG-13

Starring Don Ameche, Wilfred Brimley, Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Maureen Stapleton, Brian Dennehy, Steve Guttenberg, Tawhnee Welch

Directed by Ron Howard

The Story:

An alien race (Dennehy, Welch) return to Earth to bring home 20 of their own they had to leave behind centuries earlier.  They charter a boat from a local Florida captain (Guttenberg) and put them in a swimming pool to revive them.  However, a group of local senior citizens (Ameche, Brimley, Cronyn) have been breaking in to use that pool.  When the regenerative powers of the pool have an unexpected fountain of youth quality, the group comes back with the aliens blessing, but things are going to get bad in a hurry.

It's been a long time since I've seen this one.

First things first, it holds up pretty well from start to finish.

The acting is great, and the assembled cast is wonderful.

Ron Howard pulls together a great cast of actors and gave them plum roles in their careers.

Just because they are getting older, that doesn't mean they still can't act, and the cast pulls it off wonderfully.

Don Ameche won a Best Supporting Actor award for his role.  It's a great performance, but after all these years, he really has probably the least screen time of all the actors.

The special effects are a bit on the cheesy side, but there really aren't a whole lot of them.

It was nice to revisit the film, and it was fun to watch again.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It's probably been over 20 years since I last saw it.  Still pretty good, but not quite as good as I remembered.