Special Guest Reviews: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

If you can't judge a book by its cover, then can you judge a movie by its trailer?

Well, I did, and the Turtle reboot looks just terrible.

However, I've got a house full of TMNT fans.

They love the 2012 animated series on Nick. They've seen the 80s version I grew up watching.

And pretty much every version that has happened in between.

So who better than that to offer an opinion on the new movie, than people with a vested interest in making sure the franchise doesn't suck?

First up: (The 14 year old)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) Is about a woman named April O'Neil (Megan Fox). April wants more to her job/life than silly reports that nobody would care for.  When she discovers Four Mutant Ninja Turtles she tries to tell everybody in the studio about it, Nobody believes her. So what dos she do?

She goes off to find proof and get's herself in a dangerous adventure! 

Plot:

April becomes friends with the turtles, but also leads the bad guys to their lair. Now Donatello, Leonardo and Michelangelo are kidnapped by the foot clan,The foot clan want/need the turtles DNA. It is now up to April her friend Vernon (Will Arnett) and Raphael to rescue them. So that's pretty much the plot.

Things I liked/disliked:

I liked the fact that they kept the movie kid friendly

I didn't like the villain that much, But you're not normally supposed to like the villain. so Great job I guess....

I really liked April's friend Vernon he was a funny guy. :3

I disliked the turtles and everyone in it a lot! But I let go of the fact that these are not the '80s turtles, they are NOT the 2012 turtles. So once I let go of that, They were pretty lovable, Ish...

Favorite Character: Leonardo. Why? He was a really great character, He was the most responsible and actually quite funny, I loved his personality, and to me he was the least awkward out of all of them. :)

Favorite Part:

My favorite part was when they first approached April O'Neil. That scene was funnier than it should've been.

Sooo...Over all It was a Fun, Action packed movie!

I would give it 4 stars or a B+

Yes, I was as surprised to hear this as you are reading it. :)

Next up, our oldest test subject, (20):

Surprisingly entertaining, the newest incarnation of the turtles is fast-paced, action-packed and filled with humor. Hopefully this is enough to divert your attention away from the plot, which is a bit convoluted and weak.

Starting with the visuals, which were highly impressive, the turtles looked great on-screen. Distinct from each other, each of brothers had a unique design, and in terms of animation, everything felt believable. The Animators and Visual Effects artists at Industrial Light & Magic did their jobs well. 

The story is nothing spectacular and it has its share of plot holes, but it’s no worse off than either the 1990 or 2007 film, neither of which are known for their depth. A lot of scenes were cut before making it to the final and I am more than curious to see what got left out. Regardless, all of the characters got a chance to shine, and the new interpretations were still familiar.

Raphael had the most screen time out of the brothers, but not by a lot. With a voice similar to Nolan North’s, Alan Ritchson’s Raph was quite reminiscent to the 2007 version. Always the angry one, his issues with Leo were again brought to focus in this film. His rage never lingered however, and we got to see Raph on all sides of the emotional spectrum with some truly heartfelt and hilarious scenes.

Leader of the team, Leonardo was the man with a plan, keeping everyone on task when they would listen. While I’m still disappointed Pete Ploszek was only the motion capture performer, Johnny Knoxville did a fine job with the voice-over work. Leo’s personality contrasts Raph's wonderfully, this being most evident when they first confront April. Cool and collected, this Leo still exhibits a fun, youthful side and isn’t afraid to beatbox with his younger siblings.

Donatello was absolutely brilliant and probably my favourite of the film. His dweeb-ish demeanor was endearing, Jeremy Howard was perfectly cast. The cracking of his voice that betrayed him while trying to sound commanding, the giggle-snorts and high pitched screams, everything worked and fit for this character. Saving his brothers multiple times with his brains, Donnie also got the chance to steal the “badass” title from Raph momentarily. 

Youngest of the group, Mikey is a bit of a flirt with no filter. Wonderfully embodied by Noel Fisher, Michelangelo was indeed the funny guy, but without him being dumbed down immensely. 

Even the human characters were, for the most part, enjoyable. Megan Fox played her role well. With disdain for her position at channel 6, April O’neil didn’t always make the smartest decisions. But she was filled with courage and determination, facing and fighting the Shredder more than once. 

Vern, when not ogling April’s rear end or attempting to flirt, had some good lines. Most of which consisted of stating the obvious absurdity of the situation or complaining. Still, he was entertaining enough and serves the group as their glorified chauffeur. 

The rest of the characters were either minor or mildly displeasing. April’s roommate was a nice touch, and I enjoyed Whoopi Goldberg as April’s boss. Karai was fantastic, wish we could have seen more of her. Something about Splinter left me feeling detached to his character so much so that I didn’t really care if he lived or died. Eric Sacks seems to be an American alternative to the name Oroku Saki, he came off as a watered-down, boring villain with poor motive and execution. The Shredder, whose real name remains unknown and unspoken, was absolutely terrifying in his first scene, leaving even steely Karai fearful. But after that, he simply becomes Eric’s go-to henchman/bodyguard. 

The backstory for the Turtles is not really my favourite and comes off as problematic in many ways. Similar at first, to the recent IDW comics with them all being test animals in a lab, they tried too hard to make everything connect and the origin story unfolded into something flimsy and weak.

While the movie had several things to harp on, the overall feel was fun and enjoyable. The problematic parts are easy to point out, as they’re not the most spoiler-ific, but there’s a lot of good in this movie that balances everything out and leaves me grinning like an idiot. I’m very happy that Jonathan Liebesman turned what was going to be a dark movie about aliens into humourous little romp that genuinely feels like a turtle film.

So, similar to the recent G.I. Joe adaptions, your adoration for the franchise will either mask over the problematic parts as you enjoy a fun film, or leave you extra nit-picky on what could have been.

Final grade: B+

Final Thoughts: I loved it a lot. I want to see more. Sequel please, extended cut, directors edition, blooper reel, I don’t care. While aptly paced, this movie still left me wanting more. 

Bonus: Surprise pass on the Bechdel test. Thanks to April’s roommate, Taylor, and her boss, Bernadette Thompson. Crossing my fingers for an Irma Langinstein next film..? 

My other 2 did not get their reviews to me in time for publication this morning.  However, the assessments were quite similar.

Bottom line:

No, these aren't your turtles. They aren't your kids turtles.

These are movie turtles.  Different timeline. Alternate dimension.

Whatever you need to make it work in your head.

Check your hatred at the door, and you might have a better time than you think.

Thanks ladies for the review.

I await the DVD release this fall.

:)