I Refuse To Drink The "Frozen" Kool-Aid

Frozen (2013)

Rated PG

Starring: Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Johnathan Groff, Josh Gad, Santino Fontana

Directed by  Jennifer Lee

The Story:

Elsa (Menzel) has the power to turn things to ice with her touch.  When she accidentally hurts her sister Anna (Bell), her parents forbid the two from seeing each other again.  Anna is heartbroken, wondering what she did to lose her sister.  When Elsa's powers rage out of control, she escapes the kingdom to live alone and never hurt anyone again.  She doesn't realize that her powers left her kingdom under a blizzard, so Anna and Kristoff (Groff) set off to find her and turn the blizzard off.

I wanted to like this film, I honestly did.

I didn't.

I take my Disney film seriously, and this movie let me down on so many levels.

While I didn't hate it, and believe me, I came really close, I would consider this one of Disney's most contrived, clichéd entries in ages.

That the entire world thinks this is the greatest Disney film of a generation, makes me weep for our future.

Plus it wins an Academy Award for best animated film and best song?

So much wrong...

Where do I begin?

The musical aspect...

The songs are hackneyed and overdone, bursting into song way too frequently in the first 1/2 of the movie, then going silent through the end.  Poor pacing for a musical.  Also lacking much of the fun, depth and beauty of the Alan Menken scores.

"Let It Go" belongs in a Disney film or a broadway production.

Not on Top 40 radio.

Every hour.

Gratingly out of place, it makes me dislike this movie even more every time I hear it play.

Think "My Heart Will Go On" from Celine Dion/Titanic.

Yeah, it's like that.

The characters...

Which ones WEREN'T directly lifted and remodeled after Tangled?

And not just the people...

The horses in the kingdom were direct copies of Maximus.

Sven, the reindeer, got Max's personality aspect, though severely dumbed down.

Olaf (Gad) the snowman?

Terrible! One of the worst "funny sidekick" characters I've had to endure in all of Disney-dom.

He walks around throughout the film and his delivery makes him sound drunk, or high, throughout the entire film.  Eesh.

The Romance...

Hello, poorly contrived, out of left-field.

Kristoff, if anything, would have been smitten with Elsa, not Anna.

This was a complete cop-out and just smacked of a last ditch effort to give Anna a happy ending.

Well, Anna should never have agreed to marry Hans, or Disney never should have pulled a 180 on his character after such a short and shoe-horned introduction.

Think about it:  How did Hans know he was in the presence of Princess Anna?  Nobody had ever seen her outside of the castle.

Contrived!

There was a good story somewhere in the source material to be had.

This was not it.

Final Grade: I lean towards C-... but then I just want to Let It Go...

D+ and eligible for Turkey of the Year!

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I won't buy it and I definitely won't watch it again.

How To Review A Movie About "Amelia" ?

Amelia (2009)
Rated PG for language

Starring Hillary Swank, Richard Gere, Ewan McGregor, Christopher Eccleston

Directed by Mira Nair

The Story:

Amelia Earhart (Swank), perhaps you've heard of her?  In her famous attempt to circumnavigate the globe with her trusted navigator, Fred Noonan (Eccleston), the two vanished, never to be seen or heard from again.  Sorry if that spoils it for you, but basically that's the story you'll be watching.

Now I feel like I've spoiled the ending of the Titanic ( a movie that will never be reviewed here) ...

And Leo Dies...

So basically this is the struggles of Earhart to fly, as that was not something that women did back then.  She champions her cause, and that of women pilots everywhere.  This is where she runs into George Putnam (Gere) the man who publicizes her feats and makes her more famous by the day.

Naturally, the two fall in love and are married, and George is there for her every step of the way.

Then, enter Gene Vidal (McGregor) who puts more than a vested interest into the married pilot, and you've got your plot thickening right before your very eyes!

The movie looks great, the time period is recreated very lovingly.

But...

I Must Choose Between An Officer and a Gentleman...

It's slow... and at nearly 2 hours, probably overly long for what you're getting.

While there is supposed to be tension, this movie was kicked to the curb by me because, like Titanic, I know the ending going in. 

Where is the suspense on what she does early in her career?

I know she won't die in any plane crash until she goes for her record at the end of the movie.

:: yawn ::

Or a Jedi...

Ooo.... she loves Putnam but Vidal is making a play for her...

And yet, there's really no onscreen chemistry between any of the actors.

Again, nothing inherently wrong with any of the movie, just wanted so much more.

Your mileage may of course vary.


Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd have to say that I'm good after this one.