Boy, That's A Mouthful... "Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets"

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna,

Directed by Luc Besson

The Story:

A space station has carried out a galactic mission of peace for generations, welcoming new races to join until this station is now comprised of about... a thousand planets. However, that peace may be coming to an end unless peace-keeping special operatives Valerian (DeHaan) and his partner Laureline (Delevingne) can save the day.

Okay, besides the mouthful of an overlong title, there was nothing in this trailer that screamed "must see!" to me.

It pretty much tanked at the box office as it failed to find an audience.

I got my copy through Netflix, and shortly thereafter, it found a streaming home on Amazon Prime.

I pretty much saw it for one reason only: Luc Besson.

Normally, I've enjoyed any Besson helmed (or often written by) production.

And there were indeed some interesting/fun parts to this movie.

But at nearly 2 and a half hours, this overlong production was simply weighed down by the fact that the two stars have all the charisma and chemistry of wet paper towels.

You try and buy into the premise, and then they remind you that it's hard to take it, or them, seriously.

Seriously, put this one next to Besson's masterpiece from 2 decades earlier, The Fifth Element,  and you might see what I'm saying. However, I don't think anyone will ever mistake Bruce Willis for Dane DeHaan.

Or to put it another way, when Rihanna is the best part of the movie, you know something has seriously come off the rails.

:)

I did make it through the whole thing, so there is that, but it wasn't easy, and I can't say I recommend it.

But if you have 3 hours to kill and have seen everything else that's out there, judge for yourself.


Final Grade: D