The "Knight Of Cups" Was A Pretentious Bore

Knight of Cups (2015)

Rated R

Starring Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman, Brian Dennehy, Antonio Banderas, Imogen Poots,

Written and Directed by Terence Malick

The Story:

A writer (Bale) goes on a journey of discovery in Los Angeles through Las Vegas. These are his tales.

The movie opens with narration by Bale as the camera pans around and around to various scenery and other scenes that may or may not have anything to do with what is happening on screen.

I know I normally give movies 20 minutes, but I was ready to bail by the 10th minute, and I think I let if play into the first full chapter break at around the 13 minute mark.

I had no interest in the character, or whatever story was going to take place at this point.

If that means I have no appreciation for art-house films, so be it.

I come to see a movie to be entertained.

I don't mind thinking when I watch a film.

What I don't want to be thinking, is,  "why am I wasting my time watching this?"

There's a difference.

Final Grade: F

American Hero..."American Sniper"

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American Sniper (2014)

Rated R

Starring Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller

Directed by Clint Eastwood

The Story:

Chris Kyle (Cooper) grew up in Texas, and all his life he planned on being a cowboy. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Chris decided to be something more and joined the military. His next stop, he became an elite sniper for the Navy SEALS. However, his experiences in battle don't help him adjust very well at home with his wife (Miller) and he finds life in the combat zone oddly more comforting.

This is Kyle's story, and politics and feelings on war aside, it's one worth watching.

Now, how much Kyle may or may not have embellished in his book is up to his critics to decide, but Clint Eastwood takes the work he was given and crafts a beautiful narrative that doesn't glorify war, but gives the viewers a small taste of what it's like to be there and have to make the decisions that can save, or cost lives in a split second.

Cooper disappears into the role and becomes the Texas cowboy who just wants to serve his country, and is tormented over how to be a family man when he comes home. He's amazing in the role and the movie is carried on his shoulders, and he doesn't miss a beat.

Short review, but that's all you need. You know whether this film is for you probably based on the title alone.

Final Grade: Solid B

So That's How "Christian Mingle" Works

Christian Mingle (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Lacy Chabert, Johnathan Patrick Moore, Morgan Fairchild, David Keith

Written and Directed by Corbin Bernsen

The Story:

Gwyneth (Chabert) has it all in life, except for Mr. Right. So in an act of desperation, she puts a profile on Christian Mingle dot com. There she discovers Paul (Moore) and the two hit it off. There's only one problem, really: Gwyneth isn't really a Christian...

Cue the ominous music and crash of thunder!

:)

Okay, this lighthearted romantic comedy is a labor of love for writer/director Corbin Bernsen. He is a devout believer, but tries to deliver the message in a way that's enjoyable for those that believe and even those that don't.

Many accuse a lot of films with a Christian message or theme to beat it over the head of the audience so that nobody will enjoy it unless you're preaching to the choir.

That probably holds true here again.

Gwyneth is about to tell Paul the truth, that she's not really a Christian, and then doesn't, then it snowballs out of control as she overdoes it every time that religion is brought up.

The comedic effect is there, but it begs to question how blind is Paul when everyone else notices that Gwyneth is struggling with her faith, except the guy who likes her?

Of course, if she doesn't struggle with this portion, she doesn't get to come to terms with what she actually does believe in, if anything, and that's kind of the point behind the whole affair in the first place.

Bernsen surrounds Chabert with a great cast of familiar faces, and after a long career in front of the camera, I'm more than willing to give this former Psych star a chance behind the scenes.

While I watched it on disc, it is now available to stream on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C

Whatever Happened To Spielbergian Aliens? "The 5th Wave"

The 5th Wave (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Nick Robinson, Zackary Arthur, Liev Schreiber, Maria Bello, Ron Livingston, Alex Roe,

Directed by J Blakeson

The Story:

The aliens have made contact, and after 4 waves (Darkness, Destruction, Disease and Invasion) it's time to unleash...The 5th Wave!
But after so much destruction, what could possibly come next?

Cassie (Moretz) is desperate to find her brother (Arthur) who she lost when the Army came to round up survivors and take them to a training facility. There, Colonel Vosch (Schreiber) plans on training the young kids to be the soldiers of the future that can find and destroy the enemy. They shall be...

The 5th Wave!

So, now we know what the 5th Wave is.

How is it as a movie?

Meh, not bad.

It takes the trappings of the dystopian future and places a young female lead into the center of the conflict.

Her quest to reunite and rescue her little brother are the driving force behind the movie, and whether she helps save the world or not is only secondary.

Filled with an ensemble of fine characters to supplement that story, it's nothing earth-shattering and reinventing the sci-fi / action / dystopian future genre...

But entertaining nonetheless.

Probably nothing you haven't seen in one shape or form already, but it's done with enough gusto this go round, you won't feel like you wasted your time.

Final Grade:  C+

Not So Special..."Midnight Special"

Midnight Special (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Jaeden Lieberher, Michael Shannon, Joel Edgerton, Adam Driver, Kirsten Dunst,

Written and Directed by Jeff Nichols

 The Story:

Alton (Lieberher) is a little boy with some strange and unusual powers. His parents (Shannon & Dunst) are trying to get him away from a cult that worships him and the government who want to experiment on him.

Most movies have a point, or a lesson or an enjoyment factor to them.

I've finished this one, and pondered it for a bit, and can't really find one to this film at all.

I mean, you've got the love of a parent for their child and wanting to make sure they are as safe as can be, regardless of the consequences.

But it's such a long road to get there.

And I hate to use the word "boring" but I'm going to.

Boring.

I've seen too many similar movies, heck, the far superior Stranger Things on Netflix for example, that takes a similar situation and did a much better job on every level.

I didn't really care too much about any of the characters or what was happening.

Which is depressing, because I wanted to care.

Save yourself 2 hours, listen to the Creedence Clearwater Revival song instead.

:)

Final Grade: C-

"The Finest Hours" Is A Great True Story...But A Mediocre Movie

The Finest Hours (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Chris Pine, Casey Affleck, Ben Foster, Eric Bana, Holliday Grainger, John Ortiz,

Directed by Craig Gillespie

The Story:

During a tremendous blizzard in 1952, a tanker rips in two and the Coast Guard sends just about everyone they have to try and save any survivors.

This is not that story.

You see, there was a second tanker that also ripped in half and had survivors on it. What was left of the Coast Guard was dispatched to try and find the remnants of that ship and bring in any survivors.

This is that story.

And it's true.

The biggest problem with this, the story and much of the acting and pacing is stiff, wooden and rather boring.

Which seems really weird when you have a thrilling rescue mission at sea that bogs down while trying to be told.

Weirder still that it was a product of Walt Disney studios who excel at these true life stories.

There's equal parts of blame to go around all over the place, even the leading man, Chris Pine, and quite possibly especially him, is not above finger pointing.

His character is probably supposed to be shy and humble, but it just comes across as stiff and unlikable.

Things do pick up considerably once the storm is raging and the rescue attempt begins, but the buildup to it with Pine and Grainger's romance...

Goodness that's some painfully dull cinema to endure.

Good intentions, a great real story that just gets muddied when it was turned into a film.

Final Grade: C

A Coming Of Age Gem..."The Kings Of Summer"

The Kings of Summer (2013)

Rated R

Starring Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso, Moises Arias, Nick Offerman, Megan Mulally, Mark Evan Jackson,

Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts

The Story:

Joe (Robinson) and Patrick (Basso) are two friends who are fed up with their respective parents. So Joe comes up with a great plan: they move to the woods and build their own house. So they do. Joining them on their adventure is Biaggio (Arias) and the three have a great time at first. But the lives of teenagers are like weather patterns, and are due to change at any minute...

Usually in these films, it's the preteens that run away on an adventure, but in this case, the kids are high schoolers who have clearly had enough.

Both have parents that simply grate on the kid's nerves, but the parents also have the best dialogue in the movie.

The boys carry most of the movie with camaraderie and a bond that carries through onscreen.

When the bond is severed, you feel bad for all involved because nobody was truly at fault for how it happens.

Again, nothing earth-shattering happens, but I have to leave films like this vague in my descriptions because it's easy to ruin the whole thing with just a few sentences.

It's an evolution of the characters, and Basso and Robinson do a great job of holding our interest and making the most of every scene they have.

Currently streaming on Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: B