I Have No Idea..."November Criminals"

November Criminals (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Ansel Elgort, Chloe Grace Moretz, Catherine Keener, David Strathairn

Directed by Sacha Gervasi

The Story:

When Addison's (Elgort) black friend is gunned down while working, the police suspect possible gang activity. But Addison proclaims from the rooftops that his buddy wasn't into drugs, wasn't in a gang... and he begins his own investigation as to what really happened. All the while, he becomes closer and closer with Phoebe (Moretz) and she assists on his crusade for the truth.

Well, the trailer didn't seem that bad, so I figured why not?

Man, this movie wasn't sure what direction it wanted to go.

It's the most agonizing coming of age murder mystery angsty teen romantic dramedy you're likely to see.

But really, there's nothing to see.

I may have not been wowed with Elgort's big break, Baby Driver, but I would definitely watch that one again before ever bothering to try and get through this one.

It's a movie that continues to push the limits of suspension of disbelief every few moments, and each reveal just makes you shake your head like, "really"?

Great cast hampered by a movie that derails itself trying to be some ambitious movie that's about something, and ends up being nothing at all.

If you've got Amazon Prime, it's now streaming.  I'm pretty sure you can find something better to do with your time though.

Final Grade: D

They're Baaaaaaaack..."Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising"

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)  

Rated R

Starring Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Rose Byrne, Chloe Grace Moretz,

Directed by Nicholas Stoller

The Story:

Mac and Kelly (Rogen & Byrne) are moving out of the neighborhood and into a new house. They just need to wait 30 days for their current house to close.  And that's when Shelby (Moretz) rents the place next door. She starts her own sorority where the girls are allowed to party and have fun. And if you're going to start a sorority and throw a party, who better to have as your consultant than Teddy (Efron), the guy who made life miserable for Mac and Kelly a few years earlier?

If you watched and enjoyed the first Neighbors film 2 years ago, you pretty much know what to expect this go round.

It pretty much stays right on path with parents against college students, until decisions are made that cause Teddy to switch allegiances.

It's not high art, but the artists will get high.

A lot.

That's what they do.

This is Seth Rogen after all.

:)

However, his chemistry with Efron is fun to enjoy, and if you had a good time with the original, you're likely to have as good of a time this go round as well.

I found it to be just about as good as the first one, with a new mix of old and new cast members and a satisfying conclusion to the story.

Will there be a 3rd movie?

There shouldn't be, but if they do, or if Efron and Rogen team up again in something else, I'll swing by and check it out.

Final Grade: C+

Whatever Happened To Spielbergian Aliens? "The 5th Wave"

The 5th Wave (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Nick Robinson, Zackary Arthur, Liev Schreiber, Maria Bello, Ron Livingston, Alex Roe,

Directed by J Blakeson

The Story:

The aliens have made contact, and after 4 waves (Darkness, Destruction, Disease and Invasion) it's time to unleash...The 5th Wave!
But after so much destruction, what could possibly come next?

Cassie (Moretz) is desperate to find her brother (Arthur) who she lost when the Army came to round up survivors and take them to a training facility. There, Colonel Vosch (Schreiber) plans on training the young kids to be the soldiers of the future that can find and destroy the enemy. They shall be...

The 5th Wave!

So, now we know what the 5th Wave is.

How is it as a movie?

Meh, not bad.

It takes the trappings of the dystopian future and places a young female lead into the center of the conflict.

Her quest to reunite and rescue her little brother are the driving force behind the movie, and whether she helps save the world or not is only secondary.

Filled with an ensemble of fine characters to supplement that story, it's nothing earth-shattering and reinventing the sci-fi / action / dystopian future genre...

But entertaining nonetheless.

Probably nothing you haven't seen in one shape or form already, but it's done with enough gusto this go round, you won't feel like you wasted your time.

Final Grade:  C+

Potential...Wasted. "Laggies"

Laggies (2014)

Rated R

Starring Keira Knightly, Chloe Grace Moretz, Sam Rockwell

Directed by Lynn Shelton

The Story:

Megan (Knightly) is having a bit of a somewhere-in-life crisis. She's not ready to settle down when her boyfriend pops the question. Then she runs across a kid (Moretz) who wants her to buy her and her friends some beer. Why not?  Eventually she will move in with said kid and her dad (Rockwell) and you can guess where this one is going.

Although I can't tell you if it gets there, because at the 10 18 minute mark, I turned it off.

Utterly bored.

Which is a shame, because I am a fan of all three leads, especially Rockwell.

But there was nothing in this one to keep me interested.

Wasn't funny enough for a comedy.

Wasn't dramatic enough for a drama.

I saved myself an hour's worth of pain, and sent it back.

Your mileage may vary, but I remain unimpressed.

Final Grade: D

Not Ready For AARP Just Yet..."The Equalizer"

The Equalizer (2014)

Rated R

Starring Denzel Washington, Chloe Grace Moretz

Directed by Antoine Fuqua

The Story:

Robert McCall (Washington) works at a local hardware store. However at night at a diner when he can't sleep, he reads quietly and strike up a conversation with a local call girl (Moretz). One night when she shows up the worse for wear, Robert makes a call on her employers. Things take a turn for the worse, and suddenly Robert is wanted by the Russian mob.

No good deed...

So, hands up anybody that remembers or actually watched the 80s television show of the same name starring Edward Woodward as Robert McCall.

Wow, that's not many hands.

That's okay, I barely watched any of it at all, but my dad loved the show. It was too slow and not much action.

I mean, here was this senior citizen out there fighting crime.

I believe he paved the way for Murder She Wrote and Matlock!

But I digress...

The movie amps up the action just a bit, but they keep the tension and drama building throughout.

I quite enjoyed this version of The Equalizer, and would be happy to see a sequel in the future if they so desired.

Final Grade: B

Looking For An Over-The-Top Comic Book Movie? "Kick-Ass 2"

Kick-Ass 2
Rated R for Language and Violence

Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloe Grace Moretz, Jim Carrey, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Donald Faison, Morris Chestnut

Directed by Jeff Wadlow

The Story:

Inspired by the heroics of Kick-Ass (Taylor-Johnson) other citizens are now donning costumes to make a difference on the streets.  They create a group and invite Kick-Ass to join.  Hit-Girl (Moretz) is being raised by her guardian (Chestnut) and is finding a hard time adjusting to life as a vigilante being watched by an overprotective cop.  Meanwhile, The Red Mist (Mintz-Plasse) is plotting his revenge with a new name and a band of thugs all his own.  Soon all the stories will overlap, and things will hit the fan!

The adaptation of the Graphic Novel by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. continues!

The first Kick-Ass film was okay.

Over-the-top violence with some funny dialogue and characterization sprinkled throughout.

If you liked the first one, you'll like the sequel.

I Did It For The Money!

Jim Carrey is amazingly subdued as Colonel Stars and Stripes.

I'm not sure what his beef with the movie was, he knew how violent the first one was, and I'm sure he read the script for this one...

So it just struck me as odd when he refused to promote the film.

Ah well, but to each their own.

The Star Of The Show

Moretz is the real star of the franchise thus far and she should have a bright career in Hollywood as she's got the charisma to keep the audience glued to the screen when she's on.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Sorry, I'll stick with the Marvel movies, I can enjoy those with my kids.