Actors Gotta Act..."Collide"

Collide (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Nicholas Hoult, Felicity Jones, Anthony Hopkins, Ben Kingsley

Directed by Eran Creevy

The Story:

Casey (Hoult) loves Juliette (Jones) so very much, that when she needs a medical procedure, he turns back to his old way of life as a driver for drug runner Geran (Kingsley). However, Geran let's Casey know that the real money would be if they could hit the supplier, respected businessman Hagen Kahl (Hopkins). And then the real fun begins!

Sadly, that is a very true statement.

The movie opens with a terrific chase and crash, and then goes back to fill us in on the narrative of how we wound up at the opening.

And it's 10 minutes of Hoult and Jones saying "I love you...no, I love you...I love you more..."

Cue the fast forward button.

I was tempted to take the movie out, I mean clearly this is a budget film, no harm no foul; Kingsley and Hopkins are just collecting their paychecks.

Then I began to realize that I'm not very fond of Felicity Jones as an actress. Granted, I've not seen her in much, but she's yet to stand out to me as a great actress I look forward to seeing in a movie.

She was okay in Rogue One, but her supporting characters were infinitely more interesting.

And as the mum in A Monster Calls... ugh...so pathetic and sad as a character, I really didn't care that her character was going to die by the time the movie ended.

See?

The mind wanders when the movie creates boredom.

And I pause the fast forwarding and watch Hopkins and Kingsley interact for possibly the first time ever together on screen, and it's pretty interesting. They both try and dial their characters up to 11, especially Kingsley who seems to be channeling his Mandarin from Iron Man. :)

Which leads us to the 45 minute-ish mark.

That's when things get interesting as the movie veers back to the action caper the opening so promised us.

And yes, it delivers quite well on the back half of the movie.

So I'm torn on a grade for a film.

I mean, dismal start, I actually fast forward past the 20 minute mark that I set for myself just to see if the movie had any potential on the other side, while other movies get yanked out of the player and returned to Netflix without the same courtesy.

I'm nothing if not a movie hypocrite sometimes.

So we'll grade fair, and say terrible first half, pretty good second half...

Final Grade: D+

If Only It Were The End... "X-Men: Apocalypse"

X-Men Apocalypse (2016) 

Rated PG-13

Starring James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Oscar Isaac, Rose Byrne, Evan Peters, Sophie Turner, Tye Sheridan, Lucas Till, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Ben Hardy, Alexandra Shipp, Olivia Munn,

Directed by Bryan Singer

The Story:

En Sabah Nur/Apocalypse (Isaac) was the first mutant, he stole his powers from others like him and made himself powerful and immortal. Buried for centuries in Egypt, he is awakened in the 20th century and begins to find his new horsemen, including Magneto (Fassbender), Storm (Shipp), Angel (Hardy) and Psylocke (Munn).  It's up to Professor Xavier (McAvoy), Mystique (Lawrence) and Beast (Hoult) to recruit and lead a new team of X-Men, including Jean Grey (Turner), Cyclops (Sheridan) and Nightcrawler (Smit-McPhee) into battle to save the world

Boring.

No wait, this is a superhero movie...

Super-boring!

The one exception: the Quicksilver (Peters) scene. That's amazing stuff, and I could watch that anytime. I wish they would have done that in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but oh well, too late now.

I'm not trying to pick on Fox and say that the X-Men should move back to Disney so that we can have one cohesive universe...

But if they're listening, they should.

:)

But at least, unlike the Fantastic Four, they've been moderately successful with the movies, especially after rebooting with First Class and Days of Future Past.

I'm not sure what went wrong but I found myself consistently indifferent to this movie.

I wanted to like it, but it seemed to be in a constant state of "there's so much going on, yet nothing's really happening!" for nearly 2 1/2 hours!

So much potential, and instead it's like watching a franchise tread water until they can get to the next movie.

I'm afraid I have to say it, but when I look back on how much I enjoyed this to just about any other film in the X-Men experience, I'm unimpressed.

Plus, take into account how much I love this genre, and what the Marvel Cinematic Universe is doing, so much like Batman vs. Superman, I have to grade accordingly...

Final Grade: D+

Just A Typical Commute To The Office..."Mad Max: Fury Road"

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Rated R

Starring Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne

Directed by George Miller

The Story:

Max (Hardy) returns to the silver screen, only this time, he really sucks at driving, crashing and getting caught. He is taken prisoner but escapes in time to join Furiosa on her trek across the desert wastelands. However, Furiosa has her mind set on escaping the clutches of Immortan Joe (Byrne) and taking his young brides with her as they escape back to her lush, green homeland.  Naturally, Joe isn't going to take this treachery easily, and he launches a full out assault across the desert to reclaim what is rightfully his.

I saw everyone praising this movie and remarking how wonderful it was and  how they were going back to see it on the big screen multiple times when it came out.

Naturally, it's hard not to let a movie like this build itself up in your mind and ultimately be disappointed that it doesn't meet those expectations.

Therein lies my issues with Mad Max.

It was good, but nowhere near as great, for me, as everyone else I know seemed to find it this year.

The other issue I had was that apparently there was some sort of backlash against the film because it really wasn't about Mad Max, but it was about Furiosa.

Therefore, it was about a strong female lead and the star of the film actually played second fiddle to the story.

So, if you felt that way, obviously you hate women and blah blah blah blah blah...

Oh my goodness, that's about the dumbest argument that could be made right next to if you don't like the policies of a president, it's because of his color not his policies.

Sure, there's probably a percentage that felt that way, but to paint everyone with that brush is stupid.

First, of course this film was about Furiosa and her story.

What Mad Max film, besides Mad Max, has been about Max?

None of them, except the first one.

Every film since then has been about Max's journey across the desert and his helping the people he runs across to find a better life for themselves.

It's what keeps Max from truly becoming mad. In this crazy post apocalyptic world, his humanity hangs by a thread, but he still does the right thing and helps those in need.

Don't believe me, re-watch The Road Warrior or Thunderdome again. It's their story, Max is but a player in it.

Now, if you want a movie that takes place about a group of cars (elaborate, crazy designed cars no less!) racing at breakneck speeds through the ravaged desert, you look no further than George Miller.

At this point in his career, he can do that in his sleep.

The addition of a Soundtrack Car was a stroke of genius as well.

So when it's all said and done, it was a really good movie, just not a great one.

However, I'm happy to see the franchise still has some legs and that a whole new generation of fans have something to be excited about.

Final Grade: B

Fee Fi Fo Fum...This Movie Doesn't Smell Bad at All! "Jack the Giant Slayer"

This is the stuff of legend...

The Story:

Jack (Nicholas Hoult) comes into the possession of some magic beans, and naturally there is a beanstalk involved.  The princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) is whisked away to the clouds, and the King's men, including the captain of the guard (Ewan McGregor) and Sir Roderick (Stanley Tucci), her betrothed are on a mission to rescue her.  Feeling it was his responsibility, Jack goes along as well.  When they arrive, they must find the princess and escape the Giants, led by General Fallon (Bill Nighy).  Ah, but fairy tales are never that simple...

First, I intentionally made the synopsis much shorter than normal.

I would hate to give away everything that is charming about this retelling of the classic fairy tale.

I must admit that the opening of the story is very charming how it flashes between Jack and Isabelle growing up and learning the stories of the Giants.  It sets up the entire story in just a few short moment, introducing all of the players and the backstory of the giants and how they can possibly be defeated.

Then we immediately move to the present when the two are much older, and they bump into one another in the market while Jack is on his quest to sell the horse.

Fate naturally intervenes, and Jack gets the magic beans of legend, but again, like the rest of this story, even the beans have been fully fleshed out with how and why they exist, and like everything else, much thought and care was put into the entire backstory.

The scenery and special effects in the movie are absolutely beautiful to behold.  The actors are all really good in their roles.  While Jack and Isabelle were newcomers to me, Ewan McGregor seemed to be having a blast playing a supporting character and having a good time with it.  Plus, the always great Stanley Tucci is on hand to add a layer of slime to his performance as the bad guy who isn't a giant.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit, and I think the kids did too.  They didn't walk out anyway... ; )

Final Grade: B... maybe even B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I actually own a copy of this film, thanks to winning a contest!  That was pretty cool.  Makes me even more pleased that we liked it. : )

If You Only Watch One Zombie Love Story...Make Sure It's "Warm Bodies"!!

All you need is love.

The Story:

In America when a zombie outbreak has claimed most of humanity, a walled city of survivors led by Grigio (John Malkovich) try and survive by keeping out the undead, and making dangerous journeys outside of their walls to resupply their city.  His daughter, Julie (Teresa Palmer) goes on the latest foray, and their group is attacked by zombies, and nearly all of them killed.  However, one zombie, R (Nicholas Hoult) finds himself drawn to Julie...especially after consuming the brains of her boyfriend.  He saves her, and takes her back home with him.  As they bond, he keeps her safe from the other zombies, and then something mysterious and magical begins to happen.

Perhaps the most family-friendly zombie story you could ever want to watch.

But don't let that dissuade you, Warm Bodies is actually quite the charming movie with, all pun intended, a lot of heart.

It's simply not bathed in gore.  And that, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing.

R narrates the movie, and it's a hoot to listen to a zombie's thoughts as he goes through his day.

The movie also wisely adds a second layer of zombies with the Bones, so that when the final act rolls, the conflicts and resolution all pay off correctly.

Chalk this one up as a win in the horror, comedy, romantic comedy, romantic zombie comedy, pretty much genre smashing entry into film lore.


All of the kids watched it and enjoyed it.  Even momma didn't run away from the film, though her interest level was probably lower than everyone else.  She's a trooper though and stayed till the end.

Then she mocked my choice of movies.  : )

This adds to the list of recent, fun horror movies like Detention, Cabin in the Woods and John Dies at the End.  It's a trend I hope continues!

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Yes to both!