Do Not RSVP... "Destination Wedding"

Destination Wedding (2018)

Rated R

Starring Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder

Written and Directed by Victor Levin

The Story:

Frank (Reeves) and Lindsay (Ryder) are two bitter, cynical people. They pretty much instantly dislike one another, and they are forced to endure a weekend together as guests at a wedding that neither wants to be at.

If you can endure the full 90 minutes of it, then you are a better person than I am.

Or you like your Romantic Comedies to be neither romantic nor comedic.

Okay, I take a little bit of that back.  Some of the lines are indeed funny, in the most biting, cynical way possible.

The problem (hard to choose just one) that I had with this movie, is that Reeves and Ryder made their characters so unlikable, I didn't want to stay with them through the entire weekend to see if they fall in love or just have anger sex midway through the film.

I can't even tell if I made it past the 20 minute mark, it felt like 2 hours of hearing these two whine, bitch, moan and complain about each other and every little thing.

The running time is only 90 minutes!

I ejected it sometime between 20 minutes and 50 minutes, I just couldn't take anymore of them.

Perhaps if there had been any redeeming qualities to either lead character?

Instead, there was... dialogue...

And not just any dialogue.

These were conversations between two characters that sounded nothing like real people talking.

Instead, it sounded like two people reading rehearsed pretentious lines and working them into a conversation that no two people would ever actually have in real life.

Too bad, but I'll place the blame for that solely at the feet of writer/diretor Levin.

I'd give it 0 stars, but I'm afraid someone might mistake this critique as a 5 star effort, and I don't want that mix-up! :)

Those Kids Are Growing Up So Fast..."Stranger Things 2"

Stranger Things 2 (2017)

TV-14

Starring David Harbour, Winona Ryder, Millie Bobby Brown, Finn Wolfhard, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, Noah Schnapp, Natalia Dyer, Charlie Heaton, Joe Keery, Matthew Modine, Paul Reiser, Sean Astin

Created by Matt & Ross Duffer

The Story:

Nearly a year has passed since the events from Stranger Things. However, there's a new Doctor (Reiser) in charge at the Department of Energy, and he's doing everything in his power to help Will (Schnapp) with his episodes that are still tormenting him from being in the Upside Down.

Welcome back to Hawkins Indiana, population a couple million binging on their favorite kids from the 80s! :)

So if you are like the millions that fell in love with Stranger Things last year, and watched as it became a pop-culture phenomenon in the year in between seasons, your wait is finally over.

If you're one that thinks Stranger Things is overrated and being pushed down our throats...

You're dead to me.

:)

The Duffer Brothers are back, and they will fill in the gaps with what has happened in the year we've been away, and with some other flashbacks, they'll take us back even farther.

A whole slew of new characters will be introduced, and Will Byers will graduate from plot device in Season One to Plot Device with a little more to do in Season 2. ;)

The dynamics between the two seasons is really evident, and they don't try and forcefully recreate the magic of season one. This is another year, and the characters have grown and changed, and will continue to do so for as long as the series runs.

That's a good thing.

So there you go.

No spoilers in there, but I'm pretty sure if you watched Season One, you are likely already finished with Season Two and came to the same conclusion:

Really? We have to wait another year for the next season?!?!

: )

Final Grade: A

Some "Stranger Things" Are Happening Lately

Stranger Things (2016)

TV-14

Starring Winona Ryder, David Harbour, Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, Noah Schnapp, Charlie Heaton, Matthew Modine

Created by Matt and Ross Duffer

The Story:

In the small town of Hawkins Indiana, young Will Byers (Schnapp) goes missing. His frantic mom (Ryder) contacts the sheriff (Harbour) and the hunt begins. Sadly, it is only the first of some very weird things that are about to plague this small town.

Doesn't sound very exciting, does it.

It is.

I'm being very vague in my description for several reasons.

There's a lot to be found in this ode to 80s cinema and television from Matt and Ross Duffer.

If you aren't hooked to watch this series in the first 8 1/2 minutes, then this show is not for you.

However, if you get the goosebumps in all the right places, you're in for a nostalgic feel for a story you've never heard.

Add equal parts Spielberg, Stephen King, John Carpenter, The Goonies, Halloween, Dungeons and Dragons and some more 80s nostalgia and drop into a blender and you'll get the basic cocktail that lays the foundation for this to work.

It's the latest Netflix original, and while I'm only 2 episodes in, I've found that the pacing for this one seems to flow much better than many of the 12-13 series shows where I've felt they could tell a better story in 8 episodes.

It seems that the Duffers may have felt the same way and they are crafting a fine tale with all the jumps and frights thanks to a good script, a believable cast and a score that helps set the mood and provide just the perfect enhancement cues for the viewer.

I made the 8 1/2 minute offer to most of my kids after I watched the first episode. I told them they could walk when the credits started rolling to introduce the series.

Nobody walked.

Now they are an episode ahead of me as well, and telling me to hurry up so they can keep going!

: )

I have no idea how it's going to end up, but I'm sure enjoying the ride to find out.

I'm hoping for a season 2, regardless of how this season ends.

It's that good.

Streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: A

Trouble Is Brewing On The "Homefront"

Homefront (2013)
Rated R for language and violence

Starring Jason Statham, James Franco, Izabela Vidovic, Winona Ryder

Directed by Gary Fleder

The Story:

Phil Broker (Statham) is a former DEA agent who has retired to the country in Louisiana to raise his daughter.  However, he soon tangles with the locals, and they bring their country justice to bear against him in the form of Gator (Franco) a local meth manufacturer with dreams of going big time.  When he learns Broker's secret, he puts together a plot to give Broker and his daughter over to the man who rots in prison because of Broker, and then Gator can become the king of Louisiana meth.

It's like Justified... in the swamps!

And I mean that in a good way.

This is more of a drama than your typical Statham actioner, but when they unleash Statham in the finale, you get some nice bursts of action sequences to cap off the film.

Otherwise, the movie is a nice, slow build as Phil and his daughter (Vidovic) try and live peacefully with their neighbors, but when the daughter is bullied one time too often, she fights back and sets off a chain of events that will nearly see her and her daddy killed.

But otherwise, it's a great moment on the playground, and a nice taste of Statham action when he is attacked...so to speak...by the bully's dad.

It's a shame that Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Logan felt the need to have the backwoods characters curse like a bunch of sailors every time they opened their mouths.

Unneeded and unnecessary, and seemingly the only reason that the film had to warrant the R rating.

Again, I see some of these movies and think they could appeal to a wider audience if they simply dial back the language.  Embrace the lower rating if you've got a good story to tell.

Franco is perfect as the drug pushing psycho who takes a request from his sister (Kate Bosworth) to get even with Phil to the extreme.  Add in Winona Ryder as the creepy girlfriend, and you've got your usually loveable leads playing against character, but playing it well.

Then you have Jason Statham playing himself.

I've decided that when I grow up, I want to be Jason Statham.

Because, that would just be cool.

:)

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Aside from the language problem, it's a pretty engaging story and I wouldn't mind adding this one to the Statham section of the DVD library.