"The Double" Dose Of Jesse Eisenberg Is Too Much To Endure

The Double (2013)

Rated R

Starring Jesse Eisenberg

Directed by Richard Ayoade

The Story:

Simon (Eisenberg) slaves away at a mundane job. He's timid, shy, and pretty much a doormat to the world. Now along comes James, he looks just like Simon, and is his complete opposite in every way, leading to great complications in Simon's life.

Bah.

Remember my 20 minute rule?

Well, by about 9 1/2 minutes in, I was ready to click this one off.

I held out until just shy of 14 minutes, then I could take it no longer.

I've seen "sinister" Eisenberg before: Lex Luthor.

We all know how well that turned out.

:)

What's shaping up to a be a poor man's "Fight Club" is just not entertaining.

At least that movie had 2 entertaining, charismatic leads.

Here, we're faced with a double dose of Eisenberg, that's just two too much.

Congratulations, here's the first "F" of the 2017 Turkey of the Year season.

Final Grade: F

Look Who's Back... "Now You See Me 2"

Now You See Me 2 (2016)  

Rated PG-13

Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Mark Ruffalo, Lizzy Caplan, Daniel Radcliffe, Jay Chou, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine,

Directed by Jon M. Chu

The Story:

The Horsemen (Eisenberg, Harrelson, Franco) are in hiding. Rhodes (Ruffalo) is doing his best to keep the FBI at bay, but with the Horsemen down a man, he sends a new recruit (Caplan) to join the team. Of course with Thaddeus Bradley (Freeman) vowing revenge from behind bars, it appears that the walls are closing in, and the Horsemen may have performed their final trick.

Well, that was fun.

I quite enjoyed the original Now You See Me a few years back, and it wound up being one of my favorites of 2013.

As with most sequels, it does not quite reach the lofty heights of the original, and NYSM 2 is no exception.

It's good, and if you enjoyed the first one, there's nothing that's going to stop you from enjoying this return engagement.

The illusions are fun, and even if you know how they pulled the trick off, they are executed very well and are fun to watch.

The cast is great, and while I'm not a big fan of Jesse Eisenberg, he meshes well with this group.

Caplan is a breath of fresh air to the team as she tries to fit in and find her role with the team.

Probably my biggest complaint is the double-duty of Harrelson in the movie. I think I would have simply preferred that he have a brother rather than a twin. There was no identity swapping required, so it seemed silly to me.

But still, good times, and I enjoyed it.

While this one won't make the best of the year, it was still enjoyable and I will likely add it to the library down the road.

Plus, if rumors are to be believed, there will be a Now You See Me 3.

I look forward to it.

Final Grade: B

Epic Movie...Epic Fail. "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice"

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Jeremy Irons, Holly Hunter, Gal Gadot,

Directed by Zack Snyder

The Story:

Taking place at the climactic battle in Metropolis, Bruce Wayne (Affleck) watches as Superman (Cavill) pretty much destroys the place in an epic showdown with General Zod. Fast forward 18 months, the world isn't sure whether or not to trust Superman, and reports of the return of the vigilante Batman, more ruthless than ever are circulating out of Gotham. These two are on a collision course, and it's not going to be pretty.

Okay, so let me repeat something I've said before:

The first cinematic team-up of Batman and Superman, ever, should have been a license for DC to print money. It should have been so amazing when it was released, that it would still be playing in theaters today.

It should be the highest grossing movie of all time, even after adjusting for inflation!

Why?

EVERYONE knows who Superman and Batman are.

Even if you've never read a comic book, you've seen them, somewhere. Shirt. Lunchbox. Underwear. Hat. Action Figure. Previous movies. Cartoons.

But yet, that didn't happen.

Why not?

Take your pick, this movie offers up 2 and a half hours (!!!!!) of reasons about what went wrong.

Here's my observations:

1) We don't want to be like Marvel!

Good call, so put out dour movies with no humor or really likable characters.

Really, that seems to be DC/Warner Brothers rallying cry.

We want to be the "adult" superhero movie.

They want the critical acclaim and adulation that came with the Nolan Bat-trilogy, but the box office success of Marvel.

I hate to say that you can't have it both ways, because clearly you can.

Except your rallying cry says "we don't want to be Marvel!" and they've consistently put out movies that have been critical and commercial hits.

I can sit here and compare Marvel to DC all day long.

No seriously, I'm at work, and it's kind of fun taking a break you know. :)

But at the end of the day, I try and judge a movie simply by what it brings to the table...

But yes, comparisons are hard to avoid.

Here's some other areas I feel the movie went wrong:

A) Hey, let's make a cohesive DC Universe!

Great idea. Wrong tactic.

Again, Marvel introduced us, slow burn, to each character who would eventually make up the Avengers.

DC has started with The Avengers, more or less, and said, see, one big universe.

Except they are starting with a sequel to a movie (Man of Steel) that...sucked...is that the good critical term?

I have little problem with Cavill in the suit, of course, they rarely let him say or do much except punch and be angry while wearing it.

I have a bigger problem with the suit.

That's not Superman.

He should be bright and shiny (not literally...ugh...) but those reds and blues should pop out, and not be subdued and shadowy, nearly black on viewing.

That's Batman's job.

B) Nobody cared that Superman died (whoops, Spoiler!) .

Let's be honest, when Doomsday killed Superman in the comics (whoops, spoiler again!) it was a BIG deal! Sure, nobody thought he would stay dead dead, but for a bit, he was dead. And the world mourned.

Why?

He'd been doing it for-ev-er. He was the gold standard that all the heroes looked up to, and when he gave his life in battle, the entire world mourned. All the heroes gathered to bury their comrade, and the entire world was saddened.

Hello... not 5 minute earlier, the world was trying to decide if they should worship Superman or deport him because he was too dangerous and an unknown entity.

So when Superman dies at the end of the movie...meh.

Aside from Martha (Lane) and Lois (Adams) who really cared? Batman, a bit, because he realized he had misjudged Clark. But the show by America was just that, a show. "Whoops, our bad, thanks Supes!"

C) The Dark Knight Returned Too Soon

Speaking of scrambling storylines, how about the proverbial DC omelette where they took the battle from The Dark Knight Returns and mixed it into this film. Except again, they take the older, wiser (eh...) Batman against a rookie Superman. Too soon, too unnecessary.

D) Someone thought Jesse Eisenberg would be a great Lex Luthor.

He didn't. Shame on you, and I hope you're now looking for work somewhere. Not sure what movie he thought he was in, but he seemed to be channeling more of the Joker than Luthor when he was onscreen.

E) The "Ultimate Edition" DVD has another 30 minutes of footage that makes the story better

Bzzzt.

Wrong answer.

While it may be true, no DVD release containing footage should make a movie "make more sense and be easier to follow" than what was released in theaters. If that's the case, your editors are failing at their job.

An enhanced version should enhance the story, not tell it better.


Okay, I need to stop kicking this dead horse while it's down, so what, if anything did they get right:

I) Ben Affleck makes a great Bruce Wayne & Batman

II) Gal Gadot is great as Wonder Woman

III) Jeremy Irons was terrific as Alfred


The fact that this movie was so savaged by critics and rejected by audiences caused DC/Warner to stop, reshoot Suicide Squad to inject "more humor" and move some studio bosses around to get a better handle on their universe.

So basically they decided:

1) We don't want to be like Marvel!

Good call.

However, I need to grade on a curve with superhero films, and much like The Fantastic Four suffered because of what they "Should Have" done compared to what they did, so to will this film.

There was just too much unrealized and wasted potential, and too much grim atmosphere.

Not my particular flavor of superheroics.

If I'm going to spend 2 1/2 hours of my life watching superheroes...

well...

Make Mine Marvel.


Final Grade: D+

Super Secret Sleeper Agent! "American Ultra"

American Ultra (2015)

Rated R

Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Connie Britton, Topher Grace, John Leguizamo, Walton Goggins, Bill Pullman

Directed by Nima Nourizadeh

The Story:

Mike (Eisenberg) is a stoner who works a dead-end job at the local convenience store while drawing his graphic novel about an ape with super-powers. His girlfriend, Phoebe (Stewart) seems to love him a great deal, but he fears he's going to lose her because he can't seem to get past the phobia of leaving their dreary little existence. Then one fateful evening, a woman (Britton) says some words to him and it unlocks memories and skills that transform Mike into the ultimate secret sleeper agent killer for the CIA. These skills might just help him survive an assassination attempt by the CIA to get rid of him once and for all.

So, watching this movie and it all seemed vaguely familiar. Then I put my finger on it, this is pretty much the tv show, Chuck.

Fair enough. I enjoyed that show.

Sleeper agent assassin who is an amazing killing machine. That they put him into the body of Jesse Eisenberg makes the situation more ironic.

However, it's a pretty fun movie.

Although, if you cannot stand Eisenberg (you know who you are) this movie would probably grate on you for the entire duration. It's also a nice chance to see Stewart doing something other than moping around and longing for vampires.

Topher Grace is hilariously evil as the CIA operative who demands Mike's death, and sends scores of agents into this town to kill him. All that was missing was the twirling of a villainous moustache.

A very fun script by Max Landis and great direction by Nima Nourizadeh makes this one a much more enjoyable experience than Nima's last effort, Project X,  had been.

Overall a pretty fun viewing experience and with a few tweaks (possibly including recasting Eisenberg and Stewart who have little chemistry together) this could have been even better.

Final Grade: B-

Underrated Gem of the Year? "Now You See Me" Fits The Bill!

Look closer...

The Story:

Four magicians (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco) all receive a mysterious summons.  One year later, the group, now known as the Four Horsemen are about to pull off an amazing trick in Vegas:  They're going to rob a bank.  Naturally, when they succeed, they incur the interest of the FBI (Mark Ruffalo) and Interpol (Melanie Laurent).  If that wasn't enough, a former magician, now magic debunker (Morgan Freeman) is watching to see how they do it, and to prove that it's fake.

Got all that?

Good.

Sorry, this movie is flat out fun and entertaining.

I will not reveal much more than I already have, because what's the point of spoiling a movie about magicians?  Then you would lose all of the magic.  ;)

I was sold when the answer to the first magic trick in the movie was the same answer I said outloud.

I knew it was going to be fun after that.

All of the actors in the film do a great job.  Eisenberg and Harrelson take top honors as two of the Horsemen, but don't overlook the fine performance of Ruffalo as the one step behind FBI guy who is determined to solve the puzzle before the last act.

Also, don't underestimate the joy of having Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman working together in a non-Batman film either.  Both actors are in fine form and have some rather pivotal scenes throughout the movie.

I'll mark this one down as one of the more fun and enjoyable movies I've seen this year.

Let's hope the recently announced sequel is just as good, or better.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  At it's heart, it's a heist film.  I love a good heist film.  I hope to add this one to the collection!

A Funny Thing Happened...But Not In "Why Stop Now"

Why even start?

The Story:

Eli (Jesse Eisenberg) is taking his mom (Melissa Leo) to rehab so she can get clean.  Unfortunately she sobered up preparing for rehab, and unless she comes back testing positive for something, she can't get in.  Eli's got a very important piano recital to attend that afternoon, but he realizes if he can't get rid of his mom, his whole shot at going to a prestigious college is out the window.  So he takes her to get some drugs from her local dealer, Sprinkles (Tracy Morgan).  It all goes downhill from there.

I should have known when they left the question mark off the title of the movie, that it was doomed from the start.  Punctuation is important!

This is one of those movies that you keep watching, wondering at any moment when the switch will flip and it takes off to be the riotous comedy that you're expecting.  Then 90 minutes later you realize that the only switch that flips is the one turning off the DVD player.

Nope, it never lives up to the potential.

Eisenberg is quickly becoming another actor that simply plays himself.  However, unlike say, Jonah Hill, Eisenberg is not funny.  He's quirky and odd, but he's coasting off the success of Zombieland and The Social Network, and that's been over 3 years.  The neurotic nebbish is getting old.  He better come up with something solid or different, otherwise, we're looking at the next Jon Heder.

Really, the storyline almost seemed like a collection of "hey, wouldn't this be a cool idea..." and they really didn't have any coherent point to the story.  Let's have a story about a piano player. How about a story about a mom that needs rehab.  Ooo, and a girl that has a sock puppet.  And a drug dealer... and...

Now I'm beginning to realize why they titled the movie Why Stop Now.

It was a writer's brainstorming session that they turned into a screenplay.

Not worth your time or effort.

Final Grade: D

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No chance.