Boy, That's A Mouthful... "Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets"

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna,

Directed by Luc Besson

The Story:

A space station has carried out a galactic mission of peace for generations, welcoming new races to join until this station is now comprised of about... a thousand planets. However, that peace may be coming to an end unless peace-keeping special operatives Valerian (DeHaan) and his partner Laureline (Delevingne) can save the day.

Okay, besides the mouthful of an overlong title, there was nothing in this trailer that screamed "must see!" to me.

It pretty much tanked at the box office as it failed to find an audience.

I got my copy through Netflix, and shortly thereafter, it found a streaming home on Amazon Prime.

I pretty much saw it for one reason only: Luc Besson.

Normally, I've enjoyed any Besson helmed (or often written by) production.

And there were indeed some interesting/fun parts to this movie.

But at nearly 2 and a half hours, this overlong production was simply weighed down by the fact that the two stars have all the charisma and chemistry of wet paper towels.

You try and buy into the premise, and then they remind you that it's hard to take it, or them, seriously.

Seriously, put this one next to Besson's masterpiece from 2 decades earlier, The Fifth Element,  and you might see what I'm saying. However, I don't think anyone will ever mistake Bruce Willis for Dane DeHaan.

Or to put it another way, when Rihanna is the best part of the movie, you know something has seriously come off the rails.

:)

I did make it through the whole thing, so there is that, but it wasn't easy, and I can't say I recommend it.

But if you have 3 hours to kill and have seen everything else that's out there, judge for yourself.


Final Grade: D

So That's How You Keep The Franchise Alive..."The First Purge"

The First Purge (2018)
Rated R

Starring Y'lan Noel, Lex Scott Davis, Joivan Wade, Mugga, Patch Darragh

Directed by Gerard McMurray

The Story:

In a world tired of 2 party political in-fighting that gets America nowhere, the Founding Fathers of America swoops in and gains control of the White House. One of their first orders of business: The Purge. A night where for 12 hours, all crime is legal. It allows you to vent and get a little aggression out of your system. And if the results kill a few "less desirables"along the way, so be it. Of course, to test this theory, they have to start somewhere, and New York gets to play guinea pig.

2 years ago, I wondered if James DeMonaco's franchise would find life after the really-better-than-it-should-be-trilogy of The Purge, The Purge: Anarchy & The Purge: Election Year wrapped up.

Aha... start at the beginning.

DeMonaco wrote it, but he's passing the directing reigns off this go round as we get to discover the beginnings of the seedy world he envisioned when he created the Purge universe.

And I think I'm using that term correctly, because they just had or are having a 10 episode television show as well.

** Note to Self... put that in my Netflix Queue for later! **

To be fair, this grim and gritty universe is also more entertaining than the DC Cinematic Universe.

ZING!

But I digress...

The residents are paid to stay put, and others are encouraged to purge, but if there is any hope of taking this thing nationwide and making it an annual event, there needs to be a lot of participation.

It's the who and the how that may, or may not, surprise you!

If you've seen any of the first 3 movies, you know what you're getting into, and it's been a good ride thus far.

I don't think you'll be disappointed.

If you've stayed away from The Purge franchise, this also makes a great jumping on point to see them in order.

Final Grade: B-

I'm Going To Go "Overboard" On My Review

Overboard (2018)

Rated PG-13

Starring Eugenio Derbez, Anna Faris,

Directed by Rob Greenberg

The Story:

Leonardo (Derbez) is a wealthy snob who has utter disregard for how the real world works, or those that work in it. So when he callously fires Kate (Faris), wouldn't you know that karmic payback was in order as he washes up on shore with no memory, and Kate claims him from the local hospital as her loving husband and devoted father to their three girls. Yep, it's payback time!

Oh no!

It's the dreaded, "Hollywood is remaking one of my classic films that I love" syndrome films.

However, let me ease your worries, hopefully, just a bit.

For those with fond, or distant memories of Overboard (1987) starring Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, which I actually watched earlier this year because I vaguely remember watching it 30 years ago...

It's not that great. Sure, there are some funny moments, and there's no denying the chemistry between the leads, but much of the humor is actually quite mean as you watch the story unfold.

There's no way that flies in the ultra-hip, totally modern 21st century...

Unless you actually are mean to the man, then by all means, game on!

Thankfully, the man in question is Eugenio Derbez who simply makes great movies that continue to get added to our movie library where we can laugh (and cry) whenever the mood strikes us.

Don't believe me? Go watch Instructions Not Included, a film that made my Best of the Year list not too long ago.

He carries most of the movie here as well, garnering the laughs and the sympathy as the hen-pecked husband who does his best to readjust to a life he doesn't remember.

If I had to choose between which of the Overboard films I'd watch again in the future...

Well I've seen the original twice in just over 30 years.

I've seen the new one once, but I plan on purchasing it and watching it a few more times over the next year.

It's not a masterpiece by any means, but it's fun and enjoyable, and that always fits the bill.

Final Grade: B