The Top 10 Movies of 2012

So last month, the Turkeys of 2012 were announced, and quickly forgotten about.  Now it's time to celebrate the movies that made a lasting impression in our house.  The criteria is always subject to confusion and bribery, but for the most part, the movies on my "Best of" lists are movies I own, hope to own in the future, wouldn't mind owning, or would be willing to watch again.

So without further adieu, let's get this party started!


10) Puss in Boots ~ The first of 2 animated features on this countdown, here comes a prequel to the Shrek franchise that concentrates on the exploits of Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) before he comes to know everyone's favorite ogre.  It's a fun action tale that is enjoyable for the whole family. 

9) Courageous ~ Oh no... not a Christian film!  Yep, suck it. : )  You have to give these guys credit, each film seems to be better than the previous one.  You can skip it because you're afraid of religion or whatever, but the budget, production values, acting, writing, etc. are now rivaling that which you see from the big studios.  I applaud their efforts, and really enjoyed this take on the life of some small town cops with big world problems.

8) Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows ~ The role that Robert Downey Jr. was born to play...when Iron Man or the Avengers aren't being filmed.  Sure, it takes liberties with the books, but so what?  It's entertaining!  That's what we go to the movies for, and that's what they are doing with the franchise.  This one felt more intriguing than the first go-round, so I'm hoping there will be a third installment.

7) The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel ~ This is a rare exception that the movie was so good, but I don't know that I would want to own it or watch it again.  If it was on, I certainly wouldn't actively attempt to change the channel.  The story was wonderful, the acting was spot-on.  Plus, it was, I believe, the 2nd most read review on this page.  Pretty impressive, but nothing topped Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  You guys are awesome in what you want to read! : )

6) The Help ~ Here's another film that while I wouldn't go out of my way to buy the movie, I have watched parts of it several times on cable on a slow day at home.  It's funny, poignant, and honest in the emotions of a society that is still more prevalent today than anyone is probably comfortable admitting.  Plus, they serve up the 2nd grossest meal ever served in a mainstream drama, behind the bbq from Fried Green Tomatoes.

5) Lockout ~ Nice to see Guy Pearce as a good guy in an action flick.  It's a crisply executed, well-paced, funny action yarn where Pearce is a government agent sent to a space prison to rescue the President's daughter from rioting lunatics.  Much fun is had by all involved as Pearce attempts to clear his name while saving the girl's life.

4) Tucker & Dale vs Evil ~ I saw this one in January of last year, and it has weathered the storm of nearly all-comers to remain on the Top 10.  If you want to see a horror-comedy that gives an endearing wink, smile and hug to the horror genre, then look no further.  It's scary without being gruesome.  It's funny without being stupid.  And it has the greatest chainsaw scene in the history of cinema as well.    Streaming on Netflix!

3) Arthur Christmas ~ The 2nd animated flick is a delightful British tale of Santa's family and how they take care of Christmas.  Arthur is Santa's youngest son, and a bit of a screw-up.  When he discovers that one child was left behind, he defies his older brother and attempts to get that gift under the tree before daybreak.  Sweet and charming.  And a new holiday staple in our household.

2) The Amazing Spider-Man ~ Going into this film, I didn't think the movie had to reboot.  I was happy enough that Spidey had been recast, but so be it.  It blew me away and made me realize that THIS is the way the Spider-franchise should be.  Sadly, that means that Spidey won't be reverting to Marvel Studios anytime soon, but at least it appears to be in good hands.  This would have been the # 1 movie of the year for me if not for...

1) The Avengers ~ 'Nuff Said!

: )

My childhood dream of seeing them on the big screen was fulfilled. 
It was the first time I'd gone to a theater on opening weekend in a decade.

Yes, it was the best movie of the year... by a mile!


Looking forward to what treasures await me in 2013!!!


Happy New Year everyone!!!!

I Wish I Could Un-Remember This Remake..."Total Recall"

The remake that YOU demanded!

You didn't?

Well, someone did, and this is what we have to show for it.


The Story:

A troubled worker (Colin Farrell) has been having some bad dreams.  He tells his wife (Kate Beckinsale) about them, then goes about his dreary routine with his best friend.  But he wants something more.  So he decides to go to a place and have some memories implanted into him about being a secret agent.  Only it turns out...he already is one!

Dun Dun Dun!

To their credit, the makers of this version abandoned Mars and said "hey, the concept behind Total Recall is kinda cool, what can we do to make a similar story, but still be different."

And with that, they succeeded, and actually succeeded quite well.  The story they wanted to tell is actually kind of interesting.

In execution however...

There is something that just isn't there.

Could it be Quaid/Hauser's insistence on "I need something more...my life sucks...if only I were a secret agent..." ? Talk about laying the exposition on thick.

Maybe it's Beckinsale's turn as an unstoppable killing machine...except she's not a machine, and not really very good at killing her intended target.

Perhaps it's Jessica Biel who seems too soft of a character to be a higher up in the resistance.

Maybe it's just the lack of Ah-Nuhld?

Hard to say, but while the original Total Recall is not a cinematic masterpiece, it's pretty decent cheese that actually has aged well and still is as compelling as ever.

Again, the storyline is good and solid.

But everytime the remake takes a step forward, it takes two steps back.

Why the insistence on the same names?  I found myself trying to remember who played that character in the original film instead of investing in these new characters.

Why did they insist on keeping some things from the original and jettisoning others?

Really, was the lady with the 3 boobs (makes sense on Mars...less so on Earth) really necessary?  Of course, with today's generation, I remember when the film came out and either the studio or the actress had to go on social media and say "no, that's not real, it's special effects".

Duh.

We're getting stupider by the generation, and remakes like this aren't helping.

Any goodwill I tried to maintain with this film went out the window at the end when the line "Consider that a divorce" was NOT used.


I can't, in good faith, recommend seeing it.  Just watch the original again and have a blast.

Ghosts of Christmas Movies Past: "Gremlins"

This movie is nearly 30 years old... how's that for some perspective on how old you are?


The story:

A man gets a cute little critter for his son for Christmas.  There are 3 simple rules to follow: They don't like bright lights...in fact, sunlight will kill them.  Don't get them wet.  And Don't feed them after midnight.

Naturally, in the span of about 48 hours, all those rules will be broken...

Was there ever a cuter onscreen critter than Gizmo?  I'm hard pressed to think of one.  He's still as adorable today as he was back in 1984.

So I've used the notion of not feeding my kids after midnight for years.  Here's the movie that naturally instilled that idea in my head.  The older kids had seen it sometime in the last decade, but the youngest had never seen the film...

Until now.

Netflix provided last night's entertainment, and it was a fun trip down memory lane.  It's no holiday classic that would need to be screened every year for Christmas like Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, and Die Hard...

But there are worse Christmas movies out there.

For those that haven't seen it (ever, or in a long time), water causes the Gremlins to multiply, and food causes them to change into the green monsters that terrorize the town.  The movie actually clips right along with a good pace, only dragging when the gremlins are in the bar in an excessively long scene to show off how many crazy gremlin characters they could animate.

Between that and the long theater sequence, the movie gets drug along just a hair much, but the rest of the movie keeps the plot/pace moving along nicely.

Perhaps we'll spin it again around the 40th anniversary so the little one can figure out why she can't be fed after midnight?

Poe Drank HImself To Death..."The Raven"

Odds of a sequel...

Unlikely.


The Story:

It's the true story...... of the last few days of Edgar Allen Poe (John Cusack).  It seems that a serial killer is running through the streets of Baltimore killing folks, using means and methods as laid out in the macabre works of Poe.  So the police naturally seek out Edgar for two reasons: 1) to rule out that he is the prime suspect and 2) to help him figure out who the killer might be or where he would strike next.  Things naturally get personal when the killer takes Poe's beloved captive and plans to make her one of the victims.

Ooo!

So much promise... such an interesting premise...

And yet, unlike Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter... the movie never really draws you in.  Okay, it didn't draw me in.  It was simply on.

Cusack is spot on with his Poe rendition, but he's hardly the sympathetic character that you need in the film.  Nobody likes Poe, and when you are an unlikable character, it doesn't mesh well with the audience taking a rooting interest in the story.

It's hard to put my finger on it, where did it go wrong?  Maybe it tries too hard to be scary, yet doesn't want to be a horror movie, it wants to be a period piece drama.  Maybe it needed a tighter script?  I'm not sure.

In the end, I applaud the idea behind the film, just can't say the finished product did much for me, which is a shame because I really enjoy Cusack and wish he could find some movies which could bring him to the forefront ala Robert Downey Jr. or Johnny Depp.


Spin at your own risk.

Worth watching again?

Nevermore!

Christmas with the Bayside Alumni: The 12 Dates of Christmas

Yesterday we caught up with A.C. Slater, tonight we take a look at what Zack's been up to since graduation...

: )

The Story:

Kate(Amy Smart) is set up on a blind date with Miles (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) on Christmas Eve.  Due to an accident at the mall, every night at midnight, Kate ends up reliving the part of her day directly after he mall accident.  Will she figure out the meaning of Christmas, or is she doomed to repeat Christmas Eve... forever?

Another sweet romantic comedy from ABC Family to the holiday rescue. 

If the plot sounds familiar, it should.  It's like Groundhog Day, only set at Christmas. 

As Kate spends each day trying to figure out what it is that will trigger her life to return to normal, she learns a few things along the way about others, and about herself.

I quite enjoyed this one, and look forward to adding it to the annual festival of Christmas movies.

If you haven't seen it before, or in awhile, check ABC Family for air dates, or head to Netflix where it is streaming as of this writing.

Christmas with the Bayside Alumni: Holiday in Handcuffs

Thank you ABC Family for continuing to attempt to make new holiday movies every year to enjoy the holiday season.

The Story:

A waitress (Melissa Joan Hart) is getting ready to head to her family's house for Christmas with her boyfriend when he dumps her.  Outraged, despondent and desperate, she does the only logical thing she can think of:  She kidnaps the first guy she sees sitting in the restaurant (Mario Lopez).  She needs him to pretend to be her fiance' for the weekend.

And you can connect the dots of where it goes from there.

And you would be correct.

That said, you should still have a decent time watching the film.  It's silly and fluffy, but just the sort of romantic holiday comedy that the whole family can gather around and enjoy.  A nice change of pace from the Christmas Classics.

Melissa Joan Hart is spunky enough as the lead.  Growing up from her Sabrina TV roots, though I have to admit this is the first of two movies with a similar premise, so I have now officially categorized as the actress most likely to star in a movie about fake romances that turn real. : )

Then, we catch up with A.C. Slater (Mario Lopez!) A decade plus removed from Bayside, he still is the youthful charmer that all the girls swooned over in the Saved by the Bell tapings.  Look at the picture...aside from the hair, the dude hasn't changed a bit.

If you haven't seen it, you should be able to catch it on ABC Family during the 25 Days of Christmas, or it is also streaming as of this writing on Netflix.

Tomorrow, we'll see what Zack Morris has been up to!

These Brownies are Delicious... "High School"

Next to Sam Rockwell's amusingly menacing drug dealer from The Sitter, he is topped by Adrien Brody in High School.


The Story:

A high school valedictorian depending on a scholarship to go to college makes one mistake after having a bad day, and winds up getting a little high.  Turning to his former friend and campus weed fiend, they attempt to elude the mandatory drug test for all students the next day by baking some weed brownies, and getting the entire student body high, thus voiding the test results.

The problem is, how do they get that much product from Adrien Brody's stash without paying him for it?

This movie is filled with kid actors I didn't recognize, but they did a good job.  Brody, Colin Hanks and Michael Chiklis are all onboard in bit parts, but Brody steals the show as the crazed drug dealer who the kids rob, and then have to avoid paying him back when he finds out who got his stuff.

Nothing you haven't seen before in a million Cheech & Chong movies, but still an amusing 90 minutes of wasted time.

Wasted...

Get it?

: )

A Night on the Town With... "The Sitter"

Would you want this man to watch your kids?


The story:

Noah, a college-aged slacker is sitting at home while his divorced mom is set to go on a date.  Unfortunately, plans go awry and she will be forced to cancel her plans at happiness unless she could find someone willing to babysit some children.  Cue the son feeling bad, and opting to do it, even though he's a guy, and guys don't do that.  The kids are dysfunctional, at best, but hey, so's the sitter.  Naturally, Noah gets a booty-call from his girlfriend asking him to come to a party, and don't forget to bring the coke...

So, what would you do?


Naturally, Noah is taking these little hellions with him on the ride and night of their lives.  There will be explosions, gunshots, and an odd assortment of characters, most notably Sam Rockwell as the world's nicest drug dealer, that fill out the movie.

Noah, of course, is played by Jonah Hill.  Jonah is not your typical Hollywood leading man, and all the more awesome that he's making it work.  If he doesn't write his own material, he has the same routine that he's done for most of his slacker-roles in movies, and it works, and I laugh everytime.  They guy is funny.

Here's my problem with the movie...

They started off so crudely to make sure YOU KNOW THIS FILM IS RATED R!!!!

This could have been this generations' "Adventures in Babysitting".  A cult-classic that kids "that age" went to see, and had a blast with it.  There is a lot of humor and heart in this movie that could have easily been tailored to fit a PG-13 set-up, which really, that's what this film could have been.

It could have been huge for families to see and laugh along with.

Instead, they went the easy route, made it an R-rated raunchfest, and much of the soul of the movie gets lost in the translation.

It was nice to see the kids connect with the sitter as the night went on, and the movie would have worked so much better if they had just decided to tone it down a bit and let the message come through.

Amusing film... disappointed because it could have been much bigger/better in the overall scheme of things.

Worth a look, but otherwise, just a 3 out of 5.

For the Love of Cruise..."Rock of Ages" ???

Aha... so it's a Broadway musical that they turned into a movie...

The Story:

A girl comes to L.A. to become a singer.  She falls in love... people murder great 80s songs in the process....


20 Minute Rule Invoked:


This movie sucked and was yanked out sometime around the 20 minute mark.  Needless to say, this is on the fast track of Turkey of the Year for 2013.

To me, a musical should be like the classics... or even "Grease" where there is a lot of story... big musical number... a lot more story...


This was Song...teeny story...song..teeny story...song/song mashup..teeny story...

Utter crap.

Waste of a great cast too.


2 thumbs, way down.

"Hope Springs" Eternal... Or Does It?

How do you put the pep back in your step after 31 years of marriage?

The Story:

A married couple, Kay and Frank (Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones) have been married for 31 years.  Their life is...very routine.  Kay (not Tommy Lee Jones...causing MiB confusion) isn't all that happy though.  So she makes plans to go see a couples therapist (Steve Carrell) in the very distant city of Hope Springs to see if they can recapture the spark, or if the marriage is actually over.


Okay, at some point I need to acknowledge that I am not the biggest fan of Meryl Streep.  She's a good actress, but I would have to say she is easily the most overrated actress in the history of cinema (modern).  Give the roles to someone else, I bet they could do a good job too....

That said, she won me over here with her performance of a wife who is in love with the idea of being in love with her husband.

Conversely, Tommy Lee Jones is perhaps the most underrated actor in the history of cinema (all time) and he simply owns any and all parts he has ever inhabited.  Even movies I haven't fully enjoyed often are salvaged by his appearance... thinking No Country for Old Men or something like that.

Finally, the third actor in essentially a 3 person movie (all other characters are superfluous and irrelevant in the overall scheme of things..) is Steve Carell.  I've yet to figure out where he fits on the actor scale, but let's just say that his dramatic, ie: not zany, turns do not go unnoticed nor unappreciated.

You will believe he is a marriage therapist.

But essentially this is a story about love, and how that can be taken for granted and slowly erode into an auto-pilot functioning if you're not careful.

Seriously, watch the choreography between Kay and Frank just in the morning kitchen scenes at home and imagine that this has been happening for 30 years... you can FEEL it!

3.5 out of 5 stars!

He Doesn't Burst Into Song or Dance... That Makes Us "The Lucky One"!

Today's movie is one of those Nicholas Sparks romantic dramas that make the ladies swoon, the guys they are married to seem inferior, but we get bonus points for watching the movie with them.  Of course, for every Notebook which kicks you in the gut with how great a film it is, and makes you cry like a baby at the ending...

What?

My man card says crying at the end of the Notebook is totally justified.

Anyway, for every Notebook, there is a litany of films that aim for the stars, but barely get off the ground.


The Story:

A Marine (Zac Efron) finds a picture in a combat zone, and it literally saves his life.  When he gets out of the Marine Corps, he decides to find the woman in the picture who he feels he owes a debt of gratitude.  Naturally, before he can fully explain, things happen, and he never really gets around to telling her the whole truth.  Sparks fly...

You can see where this is going, right?

So no, it's no Notebook.  But, it's also not a bad film.  Way more entertaining that it probably has any right to be, and much better than, say, Dear John was.

So Zac Efron works really hard to play a "man" instead of a teenager.  With his looks, he'll have to wait probably another decade to pull it off completely, but for the most part, he does a good job with his role.

You can connect the dots to the story long before the characters do, and amazingly the conflict between our hero and villain does not play out like I was expecting, so I'll have to give the film a thumbs up for daring to be different and avoiding the obvious.

Worth a viewing, and one that could be good background noise in the future, but I won't be adding it to the library.  However if you have a need to watch a romantic drama, this could definitely score you some brownie points for the evening.

And that's always a good thing.

: )

One of the Best Movies I Don't Own.... "Holes"

This was a movie back when Shia LaBeouf was cool...  Oh wait, he's never been cool... but perhaps before everyone noticed how lame he was.

: )

The plot:

A boy is sent to a juvenile detention facility for stealing some shoes.  At the facility, the boys spend all day digging holes in the dirt.  You see, they are looking for a buried treasure that just has to be out there somewhere...


Yes, there is more to the movie than that, but to say much more would spoil it.

Based on the novel by Louis Sachar, and adapted for the screen by him, this is a movie that you've likely never seen unless you have pre-teens/teens.

That said, you're missing out on one fun movie that is tightly scripted and wonderfully acted by all involved including Sigourney Weaver, Jon Voight, Henry Winkler and Dule Hill.

Whaaaaaaaaat?!

The story takes place both in the now, and with flashbacks to explain the buried treasure and how the characters all intersect with one another's lives.

It's an engaging tale and one I heartily recommend, especially if you've now got teens/pre-teens that weren't around 10 years ago when the movie came out.

They'll probably get a kick out of it...

And you might too!

The Third Time's a Charmer... "Men in Black 3"

Proof that sometimes you can go home again...

The Plot:

A dangerous alien breaks out of prison, goes back in time, and kills Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones), thus changing the future.  Only his partner, J (Will Smith) seems to remember the way things were supposed to be.  That leads him to time jump back to 1969 to save his partner (Josh Brolin)...oh yeah, and the entire world!

Some franchises churn out films to cash in on their name brand.  Some wait, and present films that help remind us of why we fell in love with the original movie in the first place.  If you had any misgivings on seeing the 3rd film because the 2nd film didn't live up to the original Men in Black, set those apprehensions aside.

This third entry into the series is worth a viewing, and you'll likely enjoy it enough to add it to your DVD library.

For the most part Tommy Lee Jones is not in the movie.  But Agent K is never for one moment NOT reminding you of Jones.  Brolin does a dead on channeling of Jones' Agent K, it's impressive.  He has the instant rapport and chemistry with Will Smith that this movie just unfolds as a nice trip down memory lane.

The movie spends a majority of time, back in time.  That allows for Will Smith to again play the fish out of water that worked so well for the first time.  Yeah, this time he knows all about aliens, but the 60s?  That's a whole different animal.

Not sure that we'll ever see a 4th Men in Black movie.  But that's okay.  This brings a nice closure to the series, and goes out with a bang, not a whimper for the franchise.


One of the best films of the year, that got overshadowed in a busy summer at the box office.  If you enjoyed the first movie, you should enjoy this one as well.

Bruce Willis Did Not Save the Day... "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World"

Ah Steve Carrell.

He's a funny guy, but likes to stretch his dramatic muscles from time to time.

So here he goes again, in an offbeat romantic drama about the end of the world...

The Plot:

There is an asteroid heading to earth.  The shuttle that was sent to destroy it failed.  Earth has 3 weeks left before all of humanity is wiped out.

What would YOU do?


This is an interesting movie to review.  It's a drama that makes you laugh.  It's comedic in the absurdity of the whole situation with the world literally coming to an end, and the ways people react to it.  Then you add a love story that is literally too little, too late for the stars.

It's sweet, a little sad, and there is no happy ending...

Or is there?

That is primarily left to the viewer.  Could one asteroid destroy the world?  Hard to say.  The finale of the movie is simply the easiest way for the story to end, and it works.

The romance between Keira Knightly and Steve Carrell is natural and not-forced.  You watch them grow and care for one another as the clock literally counts down to their, and all of humanity's, end.

In fact, it's both poignant and touching as the last act unfurls and the decisions that they both make to ensure they are ready for the end.

Again, it's a quirky little film.  Worth a viewing, but I can totally see people not enjoying the film as it simply is an odd story.

This is one of those movies to me that is good/great... but I'll never likely want to watch it again.  The rewatchability factor is huge for me with movies.

Give it a try sometime, you might surprise yourself.

What's a Synonym for "Unfunny"?? Oh, I Know... "MacGruber"!!!

Well, I may just have stumbled upon my first film that will be on the "Top Turkeys" of 2013 list.

The Plot:

An amusing 3-5 minute Saturday Night Live sketch comes to life as a 90 minute movie.  It's like MacGyver, only funny!

Except it's not.

I'm not sure how far into the movie I got.  When the van carrying Chris Jericho blew up, I knew there was no hope for redemption in the film.

Then MacGruber solicits the Lt. to help him, offering sexual favors, yeah... I'd had enough, and out it came.

Painfully un-funny, in any and every way that the skit used to be mildly amusing.

Every skit ended the same way:  MacGruber failed and the place blew up.

This movie tried to overlook that, and have everything else blow up, but MacGruber was above it all.

Fail.

To paraphrase the principal in Billy Madison: "Everyone in this room is now dumber for having watched it."

Evil Never Looked So Good..."Snow White and the Huntsman"

Mirror Mirror on the wall...

Okay, let's take a look today at a slightly different version of the Snow White legend...

The story:

Snow White.
Wicked Queen.

So far so good...Huntsman doesn't kill her...got it...instead he helps her, teaches her to fight, and together they try and escape the queen's clutches and bring about her downfall.  Sprinkle in 8 Dwarves, and the rest is history...

Interesting.

So, remember when I said I wasn't able to get into Mirror Mirror?  Yeah, the "other" Snow White picture of the year.

This one, I had no problem with.  It was actually fairly entertaining.

Though I must confess, I did mock the film a few times for lifting scenes (or at least ideas) directly from other films.  

My favorite was when the Queen is interrogating a would-be assassin, and I started chanting "Mola Ram"...

But yes, The Mummy, Jurassic Park and a few other famous lifts were had.

However, it was still an enjoyable journey, provided you can, with a straight face honestly say that:

Kristen Stewart is more beautiful than Charlize Theron.

THAT is the biggest, and most difficult leap of faith the movie asks you to make.

Even at her worst, I'm not buying it, and think the Magic Mirror was slightly broken.

The dwarves are played by non-dwarves, which probably is against union rules, but Hollywood apparently only casts little people as Munchkins, all other fairytale creatures under 4 feet tall will be outsourced to tall actors.

Naturally, Hemsworth is awesome as an underpowered Thor.  The guy is on the verge of being typecast as a brawling action hero.

I am fine with that.

: )

Plus the film leaves you wondering who really was Prince Charming?

Okay, at least who would live happily ever after with Snow White?

Guest Review(s): Rise of the Guardians

So today, I am reviewing a movie that I have not seen.

Rise of the Guardians from Dreamworks.

Okay, that is not entirely accurate.

Today, I am letting the kids take over this review, sort of, to give you their thoughts on the movie.

They are begging to go back to the theater so that I can watch it this time, they swear it is that good.

For those that follow my Facebook page, you've seen the art that my daughters have drawn for the Fan Art Contest.

I was afraid when they all went on opening day, that they had set the bar for expectations so incredibly high that it would be impossible to meet their desires.

It turns out, I worried needlessly.

As the oldest said, "it blew all of my expectations away".

You've all seen the review that says that this is "The Avengers of animated movies" by now.

My kids agreed.

With a month to go, this is their # 2 movie of the year, right behind the Avengers, and ahead of The Amazing Spider-Man.

Pretty good praise from the six of my kids who all have diverse opinions about what is, and is not a good movie.

To quote the oldest: "Rise of the Guardians is, in a word, magical."

Next kid: "Seriously, I could go on and on about how great it was, but I won't."

Third oldest..."Easily one of the best movies of this year."

The 3 non-teens are all in agreement as well.

So I'm looking forward to seeing it.  If it's as good as they claim, I highly anticipate it being on my Top 10 list for NEXT year.

Sorry kids, I won't be heading to the theater that I know of.

: )

Black Friday Review: 2 for the Price of One: The Expendables Franchise

Fans of 80s action flicks rejoiced when the Expendables came out in 2010.

In that film, Stallone leads a team on a top secret mission on behalf of the government.  Mayhem and bloodshed ensued.

In 2012, Stallone leads a team on a top secret mission on behalf of the government.  More mayhem and bloodshed ensued.


I mean, who's kidding who.  You're either a fan of action movies like this, or you're not.  There are very few fence-sitters who wonder:  "hmm...do I want to watch a kick-butt action flick tonight... I'm not sure I'm in the mood for it..."

Yeah, it's always time for an action flick. 

Stallone and company pull no punches either.  The blood spatters everywhere, and bullets, fists, knives, and anything but the kitchen sink gets used in nearly every conceivable way.

The Expendables is streaming currently on Netflix, and is definitely worth a viewing if you've never taken in the carnage.

As for the Expendables 2...

It's even better than the first one.  The romantic subplot is shelved for a tale of straight up revenge when one of their own is killed by...

Van Damme!

Turning the franchise over to Simon West (Con/Air ~ one of the 100 Greatest Movies Ever Made!) was a good decision by Stallone.  While he did just fine helming the first one, it seems like turning the show over to another set of eyes let Stallone concentrate on just having a good time in front of the camera.

It's funnier, bloodier, and just plain better than the predecessor.

Also back for a return, The Governator and Bruce Willis.  Both have extended parts in the film, and provide some fun during the final battle.

Looking forward to seeing what they've got in store with the franchise from here.

If you haven't seen the first, there is no fine points that you'll miss from jumping in on the second part of the franchise.

If you liked the first, you should love the second.

Top 5 "Turkeys" of 2012

With just over a month to go, I figured I would take a minute to look back at the worst movies that I've endured, or at least, attempted to get through over the last calendar year.  Looking back at the Netflix Queue, both instant and delivery, a whopping 18 movies received a 2 star rating from me, which signifies that I didn't like it.

By comparison, 31 movies are currently in the running for Best Films of 2012, so I have a pretty good average.  I don't count the 3 star movies, that would take too long.

: )

With just about every movie on this list, I couldn't stomach it long enough to watch it to conclusion.

Either the movie didn't grab me enough to continue watching past the 20 minute mark (or less!) or I just plain hated it.  I'll try and stick to the "name" movies that you may have heard of, or have in your queue, and see if I can spare you some pain.

: )

Naturally, if you liked any of these movies, congratulations!  They weren't my cup of tea, but to each their own!!

Some of the films that are just outside of the Top 5:

The Iron Lady (the first review on this blog!)

The Grey

Mirror Mirror

And now, for the final 5:

# 5 - Coriolanus ~ An update on Shakespeare's tale of a general who comes back to destroy his city after they cast him aside.  The retellings of Shakespeare usually work, because they also update the bard's speeches to modern English.  When a general starts thee'ing and thou'ing... it's hard to stay engaged.

# 4 - John Carter ~  This big budget adaptation...zzzzz... what?  I'm sorry, where was I ?  The story didn't bring me in, and I found myself popping this one out of the DVD player after about 30 minutes.

# 3 - Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance ~ Here's hoping that this is the death knell for the series, and Johnny Blaze can revert to Marvel Studios where it can be done correctly.  This version made the first Ghost Rider movie look like a cinematic masterpiece.  Absolutely awful.

# 2 - Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star ~ Nick Swardson is luckily friends with Adam Sandler, and Adam Sandler makes movies for his friends.  Nick was hilarious in Just Go With It.  This movie was just painful to watch, and was gone from the DVD player in about 15 minutes.

And the Worst Movie of the Year:

# 1 ~ Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie ~ # 1 with a bullet (to the head) comes some of Will Ferrell's pals from Funny or Die.  The opening credits were funny.  Then the actual movie started, and it wasn't funny, and I wanted to die.

Streaming on Netflix if you want to try.  I couldn't get past the 10 minute mark.


So there you have it.  And I'm thankful that I endured less than an hour, hour and a half of cinematic movie torture this year with this list of films.

Here's to a better 2013 in movies!  More great films, fewer turkeys!!

Based on a True Story..."Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"

Honest Abe just moved up a notch or two on my "Favorite Presidents of All Time" thanks to this movie.

: )

Seriously, the man freed the slaves AND defeated the North American Vampire menace all at once...

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The story:

Young Abraham Lincoln witnesses something..unusual... as a young boy.  What appears to be a vampire kills his mother when he's just a boy.  That sets young Abraham on a path of vengeance.  Luckily, he meets someone who is willing to teach young Abe the tricks of the trade of tangling with the undead.  And so... a legend was born!

Okay, really, this movie is way better than it has any right to be.  It lives up to the title, in spades.  There are two ways to approach this subject.  Over-the-top parody or play it straight.

They opt to play it straight, and it makes the movie work.

Even the oddities of the deaths in Lincoln's family are explained away under cover of the vampire myth.  It's an enjoyable diversion with decent performances by all the actors involved.  Not a whole lot of names in this film, yet some very familiar faces fill the landscape from Lincoln's friends to his bloodsucking enemies.

And the best part?

These vampires don't sparkle.

Just throwing that out there...

I'm thinking that while Spielberg's Lincoln will garner the Oscar buzz, this will be the more entertaining of the two Lincoln pics in theaters this year.

: )

Worth a spin!

Saturday Streamer: The Magic of Belle Isle

You'll come for Morgan Freeman.

You'll stay for a sweet little story.

The story:

An alcoholic, wheelchair bound curmudgeonly ex-writer comes to a rural town to get away for the summer, and perhaps, just maybe, find inspiration to write again.  His agent is pushing to sell the rights to his great western hero, but Monte (Morgan Freeman) is in no mood to sell.  In fact, he's not much in the mood for anything.  Then he meets his new neighbors, a divorced mother of three sweet girls.  And a funny thing begins to happen...

So seriously...

What went wrong with this movie that you've never heard about it?

Dirctor: Rob Reiner.
Star: Morgan Freeman

Released in Theaters... well... 4 of them anyway.

: /

Not sure what happened with Castle Rock Entertainment, but they pretty much sat on this one.  And while it's not going to win an Oscar, it's certainly worth 90 minutes of your time and energy.  As the writer, Morgan Freeman oozes Morgan Freemanesque manner and attitude as a man who just doesn't care about much of anything anymore...and yet when he meets the little girl next door, a spark rekindles and he begins to write again.

But not the stories anyone would think he would write.

It's a charmer.  Quiet movie entertainment for the entire family.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

The Origin of Species... "Prometheus"

Welcome back to Science Fiction, Ridley Scott.  Russell Crowe misses you already.

In fact, I would say that Science Fiction flicks in general have missed Ridley Scott, since of the 32 movies he's directed, this is really his 3rd venture into the genre, but when 2 of your first films are Alien and Blade Runner, you've already put your stamp on the experience.

The story:

Well, the origin of mankind is finally revealed.  We were apparently born from the belly of big aliens that have our DNA!  So awesome of a discovery, a trillion dollar space expedition is sent to the planet in question to find our creators and say "hey dad, wassup?"  Except when we arrive, some very bad things are found, and it's a race to survive the meeting!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Alien: The Beginning.

Because really, that's what this all boils down to.  Sorry if that spoils anything for anyone, but you might as well get the elephant in the room out of the way, he simply takes up much too much space.

So yes, Aliens created mankind...mankind creates Alien.

Poetic justice.

And really, a nice way for Ridley Scott to return to the franchise that probably made him into the sought after director that he is.

Yep, the strong female lead is here.  Dark corridors. Oozing critters.  Exploding bodies.

Plus, it's only obvious that a sequel is possible/inevitable by the way the movie ends, and I'm not talking about the sequel(s) that already exist...from the past.

Holy Back to the Future!

Michael Fassbender brings charm and slime all in one as the ship's robot (don't trust robots...ever...) while Noomi Rapace gets to go all Sigourney Weaver as the doctor who insisted on the trip.  Also along for the ride, the criminally underused Idris Elba as the Captain, Charlize Theron in an extended cameo, and Guy Pearce buried in makeup.

Worth a viewing, and your enjoyment factor will likely increase depending on how much of a fan of Alien, or the entire franchise, you really are.

Hmmm...does that franchise have rabid groupies?

Simply..."Amazing!"

The 2nd best comic-book movie of 2012 is finally here.  You can argue that the 3rd Batman is better, and maybe after I see it, I'll agree.

But until then, Amazing Spider-Man has swung his way onto DVD and the results are impressive.

First, let's take a look at the story:

Socially awkward Peter Parker is bitten by a genetically modified spider.  He then makes a horrible decision that changes his life, forever.

That's the legend of Spider-Man, in a nutshell.  Tinker, twist and manipulate his origin any way you want, that's the bottom line to the story.

So how does this franchise reboot compare/contrast to the 2002 original?

First, what went wrong: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.  Somehow, that mantra that gives you goosebumps... sorta falls flat and doesn't come across in the film like it should.

Where did it go right:  Everywhere else.

: )

First, let me go on record for the first time written down that I can recall:

Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man was dreadful.  He wasn't nerdy. He wasn't smart. He wasn't funny.  Never cared for the choice back then, was more than happy when they started over.

Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson.  In 2002, I disagreed with the choice and the casting.  If anything, she should have been Gwen Stacy, and been killed.

Immediately.  I've never particularly warmed to her as an actress.  She's not pretty, which is a prerequisite for MJ, a gorgeous redhead who would/could (did!) become a super-model.

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are way better choices.  The chemistry is there from the beginning, and the relationship they develop does not feel forced.

The fact that they returned Peter Parker his brains, and let him develop his own web-shooters?  That was icing on the cake.

So yes, I can expunge the previous trilogy from my mind as a bad experience, chuck those discs, and start over saying THIS is the Spider-Man I've been waiting for.

The only thing missing was J.J.J., but I have hopes they will bring him to the forefront with the sequel.

Otherwise, the film lived up to its billing:  "Amazing"

Highly recommended.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas. "Arthur Christmas"!

It's never too soon to review a Christmas movie.  Heck, if you haven't started watching them by now, there is no way to cram all of that holiday goodness into the span of anything less than 2 months!  So get to cracking people.  And today is a great way to start the holiday season off right, one that could very well land on the recurring annual viewing list for Christmas.

The story:

The secrets of Santa stand revealed as we learn just how Santa can deliver 2 Billion presents in one short night.  Unfortunately, one present is overlooked on the delivery route, and there just isn't time to make another trip to make the delivery.  But what's 1 out of 2 billion, right?  It's a less than 1% failure rate.  Pretty good in this day and age.  Except Santa's youngest son, Arthur, firmly believes that no child should be left behind!  So with the help of his grandfather, and some old school technology, they set out to deliver the gift before the sun rises on her town.

What could possibly go wrong?

Everything. Anything.

It's hilarious.


To give away much else that happens gives away too much of the fun that ensues throughout the movie.  Plus, it doesn't feel rushed...nor too long.  Both very important with your holiday films.

This venture from Aardman strays from their usual stop-motion that put the studio on the map.  The characters have similarities in features to other Aardman vehicles, but not overly so.  They assemble a great vocal cast including James McAvoy (X-Men: First Class), Hugh Laurie (House M.D.), Jim Broadbent and Bill Nighy.

So yes, your Santa speaks with an accent. : )

Otherwise, sit back, enjoy the show, and get in the Christmas Spirit.

Highly recommended, and for this family, it will be purchased and become a worthy addition to the annual Christmas movies that can be found playing at least one a day through Christmas every year.

When You Just Want To Have a Baby... "Friends With Kids"

Today's movie is: Friends With Kids.

Here's a romantic comedy...

Without the romance?!?

The plot:

A group of friends, 2 married couples and 2 perpetual singles, have been friends for ages.  However, as the married couples begin to have children, the friendship dynamic changes as family commitments rear their ugly head at the most inopportune times.  As the two singles realize, you can't have sex and children, the family unit poisons the sexual relationship...and it seems like divorced people have it right by only having to deal with kids part of the time.  These two decide that they will have a kid together, get the hard part of a relationship over, while they continue to look for their Mr/Mrs. Right.

What could possibly go wrong?

It is a fun, and interesting premise.  You have two married couples on the extremes: one is meant for family, the other couple's relationship the children are indeed a burden.  Then you have the singles who make it seem rather easy...at first...but then life and the baby complicate things.  Then what happens when/if Mr. or Mrs. Right never comes?

The actors involved do a great job.  I had seen 5 of the 6 in other movies and have enjoyed all of their work.  Amazingly, Jennifer Westfeldt turns out to be a Jack of All Trades with this film.  I've never watched any of her previous work, but this was her 3rd film that she wrote, the first that she directed, and she was also the star.

Well played ma'am, well played.


Taking a cue from many other great actor/director combos, while she has plenty to do, many of the laughs and best lines are divided amongst her co-stars.  She is not a prima donna by any means...or so it would seem to me.  Her leading man, Adam Scott plays his usual fun self.  When last I saw him in the movies, he was trying to save the day in Piranha. :)

The movie isn't gut-busting hilarious, nor is it the usual R-Rated Raunchfest.  The laughs and smiles are plentiful and they keep coming.  Eventually you are so entrenched in this group of friends that the laughs and tears are from genuinely caring, not just because of the line that was written.

Definitely worth a spin if you've not seen it.

Saturday Streamer: Footloose

When is a remake, not a remake?

When it's better than the original.

Bacon Blasphemy!

And so lies the conundrum of Footloose.  The soundtrack we grew up to in the 80s comes back to haunt us in the 20Teens in a movie wherein the original story comes back to life!

The story:

A young man comes to a town that forbids the teenagers to dance.
Dancing ensues.

Seriously.

How much plot am I supposed to give away?

To be fair, I did not grow up with the movie Footloose.  I saw it for the first time last year, I think.  Therefore, I don't have the rose-colored glasses that made me think "how dare you mess with the classic!"

No, my first thought after seeing the original was... wow... people really thought that was a good movie?!  Cheesy!!  But perfect for a town of non-dancing teens to suddenly pull off Hollywood choreography at a moment's notice!

Instead, with the remake, most of the plot holes you could drive a tractor through, have been shored up to make this movie much more believable, and consistent with how life might actually work.  You see, all these teens secretly dance, so the great big blow out at the end makes sense.

That said, the dancing alone in the old building with the VW is still the silliest scene filmed... in both movies!

: )

Both are currently available for streaming on  Netflix.

The original: 3 out of 5
The remake: 4 out of 5

Que es Eso? "Casa de mi Padre"! Ay Dios Mios!!

Casa De Mi Padre...

What the heck was this film?

I'm not even sure how much of a plot synopsis I can, or want, to give on this film.  So instead, we'll sum it up this way:

Will Ferrell plays the younger brother in a family of Mexican farmers.  His older brother is a drug dealer.

Hilarity ensues.

Sort of.

First, the entire movie, minus minimal dialogue from an American, is in Spanish.  Don't worry, there are subtitles.

Yes, Ferrell does all of his part in Spanish.

Next, the entire movie was done "on the cheap"... intentionally.  So you will have camera jumps, edits, crops, subtitle changes, etc. that make the movie look like it was filmed for $1.98.

That very well may be where the majority of the humor comes from.





In fact, I will say that is where the entire source of the humor lies, as the storyline itself plays out in a very straightforward manner.

It is not, at least in my eyes, a drop-dead hilarious movie from start to finish.  But you watch, and get sucked into it, and remain entertained until the end.

I think the cheap budget feel is what keeps the movie from being too much one way or another... It can't be considered a real movie because of the intentional way in which it was filmed.

I don't think this will ever rise up in Ferrell's canon of great films (Elf, Stranger than Fiction) or become a fan favorite (Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, Anchorman).  It will fall to the bottom of his credits, sandwiched somewhere between A Night at the Roxbury and Land of the Lost.

: )

Saturday Streamer: Get the Gringo

No, this is not Mel's latest brush with the law.  It's his latest movie.

Apparently, as the mighty have fallen, Mel's latest flick has gone straight to DVD...and now, straight to Netflix Streaming.

But is it worth your 90 minutes?

The plot:

A driver crashes the Mexican border with lots of money in his car.  Apprehended by Mexican authorities, he is quickly forgotten in a local prison.  Of course, this is no ordinary Gringo, and with a little help, and a lot of luck, he's going to get out of prison, and get his money back.

Remember Gibson's great turn in Payback from a decade ago?

Think of this as a close cousin in terms of storyline.  He's a bad guy, but a bad guy with a code.  His money that he rightfully stole, was stolen from him, and he's determined to get it back.

He befriends a little boy in prison, and together they plan a way to get revenge, and get out of jail.

It's deceit layered with treachery wrapped in subterfuge.

In other words, it's Gibson doing what he does best.

So forgive his drunken transgressions, and get back to enjoying Mel in front of the camera.

Get the Gringo is definitely worth a spin.

3 out of 5 on the Netflix Scale, but closer to 3.5.

Outsourcing Retirement at "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"

Here's a charming drama that is poignant, funny, sweet, sad and touching, all parts equally, and often at the same time.

The plot in a nutshell:

A diverse group of retired Brits decide that their retirement income will stretch farther in the wild climes of India moreso than in their beloved British countryside.  Enticed by the brochure for the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, each reaches out to make the move, some with trepidation, some with great anticipation.  All of the seniors meet at the airport and then begin to bond by their collective experience that they share at the Hotel, which may not be everything that was promised to them in the brochure, but sometimes, that can be better than what was promised.

Featuring some of England's finest seniors, including Tom Wilkinson, Bill Nighy and Dame Judi Dench, the stories and reasons for each of the Brits making the sojourn to India is reasonable and makes sense.  Their stories will grab the audience in different ways, but grab you they will.

Of course, not to be overlooked would be India, as a very bustling character in the movie itself.  The shots can be as dizzying to the audience as they are to the Brits as they try and cope with their newfound home.  Some will acclimate better than others.

Then, there is the hotel's owner, who very much has his own story to tell.  His is the glue and passion that holds the movie together as he interconnects with the guests in his hotel to try and fulfill 2 generations of dreams, against seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

While the old folks think they have reached the end of their journey, they might be as surprised to find out that they still have a few things to teach and learn as well.

It's a very well crafted movie, and highly entertaining.

Recommended!

4 out of 5 on the Netflix Scale.

Yo Vanilla, Kick it One Time...."That's My Boy!"

There are two types of movie watchers:

Those that hate Adam Sandler movies, and those that don't.

I am definitely in the camp of the latter, and have seen almost every film Adam Sandler has starred in.

And for the most part, I've enjoyed them all.

The plot:

Donny Berger has a crush on his high school teacher.  The teacher reciprocates, and 9 months later, Donny is a daddy, and his love is behind bars.  So Donny attempts to raise a child, but isn't the best dad ever.  The son leaves, and wants nothing to do with his father.

Fast forward nearly 30 years later, and Donny needs some money.  His fleeting fame from back in the day is just about all cashed out, and he's facing prison.  Luckily, his son seems to be well to do, and a sleazy Jerry Springer type is offering Donny the money he needs if he can reunite the whole family at the women's prison before the end of the weekend.



Over the last few years, many of Sandler's films have been edging into family fare, so Sandler apparently wanted to show the world that he can still drop F Bombs with the rest of the world, and attempted to make a raunchier film than he has in a while.  I guess he doesn't want to lose the market on the genre.

So where does this film stack up in the pantheon of cinematic treasures that Adam Sandler has given us?

It's not his worst film, that honor still belongs to Punch Drunk Love.  Yeah, the only film that critics have liked, was boring... zzzzz...

: )

This falls right in the middle.  Funny, but not hilarious.

In fact, I'd give this one the antithesis of The Wedding Singer.

That film was a great film, that was pushed over the top with the inclusion of Billy Idol, playing himself, to put the icing on the cake and make the movie perfect.

This one takes a middling idea, and the inclusion of Vanilla Ice, playing himself, salvages the movie and actually makes it worth watching.

Little Nicky still remains Sandler's least funny starring vehicle after he had made it big.    I could see watching it again in a few years, but this wouldn't be one that would be watched by me more than once a year.

Rental...not a purchase.