The Month of September? Consider it..."Erased"

I thought I already wrote this review...yet it mysteriously vanished from my computer!

The Story:

Ben Logan (Aaron Eckhart) is living in Belgium, doing security work for a firm.  He's brought along his daughter, Amy (Liana Liberato).  The two are dysfunctional at best, as she resents having to leave her life in America to live with her dad.  Of course, she doesn't realize that her dad has some secrets up his sleeve that will reveal his past in the CIA.  Of course, when Ben stumbles upon what his employers are up to quite by accident, they erase his identity and send the assassins in to clean up the job.  Ben's going to have to save himself and his daughter in a foreign land.

Piece of cake.

Meh.

It's nothing you haven't seen before (Bourne... Taken...) and Eckhart is a serviceable leading man, who is also very believable as a securities expert who is also part deadly assassin when needed.

But the daughter... she is annoying and just drags the film down. 

The idea of the film is solid enough, heck, when they did it years ago with The Net starring Sandra Bullock, it was quite enjoyable.

When the Big Bad Agency erases your identity and makes life difficult, that's a pretty scary story already.

We don't really need an angsty whiney teenager pouting about why her dad knows how to kill people.

Gee kid, I just saved your life, you're welcome...

: /

Now available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Serviceable movie, but nothing I'm in any need to see again.

Sunday's Screamer...I Mean Streamer..."A Haunted House"

Some weird things are going on in this house!

And there's a ghost, too!

The Story:

Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) has his girlfriend Kisha (Essence Atkins) move into his house with him.  Malcolm didn't ask for the demon to come along with her.

Ah yes, a parody of the "found footage" horror movies that are box office hits.

And, they do some of the same stunts, which actually generate some suspense and chills, but they are buried deep and wide amongst the throw it at the wall and see if it sticks comedy.

Now, for those that have seen the Scary Movie franchise, you probably know exactly what kind of comedy you're going to get.

When Marlon Wayans is your most grounded character in the film, you know there's going to be issues. :)

You've got Nick Swardson playing Chip the gay psychic who is infatuated with Malcolm, and is more concerned with getting with Malcolm than getting rid of the demon.

Then you have Cedric the Entertainer at the end of the film as the exorcist.  Small part, but he has a good time with it.

Whether or not they are successful ridding the house of the demon...

Well, I just saw that a sequel is in the works, so that should give you a clue.

Available to stream instantly as of this writing on Netflix.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, I'm good on this one.  There were some amusing gags in the film, but not enough to warrant subsequent viewings.  Yes, I will likely watch the sequel though.  :)

It's Time To Pump...You Up! "Pain and Gain"

Truth is stranger than fiction.

And way more coked up!

The Story:

Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) is a fitness trainer at a local gym in Florida.  He's tired of getting nowhere in search of the American dream, so he has a plan:  Steal it from a rich jerk, Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub).  So he enlists his best friend Adrian (Anthony Mackie) and they bring in some even bigger muscle in ex-con Paul (Dwayne Johnson) to pull off their heist.  Things don't go so well, but eventually they begin to bleed Victor dry of all of his assets.  Then things begin to go from bad to worse for the trio...

Sure, some of the events are exaggerated for the big screen, but basically, this is a true story unfolding before your eyes.

It's unbelievable in the ineptitude of our trio, and also the sheer willpower of Victor to not get killed!  Insane...

I must mention that it's a film directed by Michael Bay, which should immediately make many people roll their eyes and groan.

Not this guy, I've got no problem with the majority of his films.  They're perfect popcorn films.

The hard part of this film is that it is based on a true story.  It's hard to root for either side because one side is doing illegal things and the other is a jerk.  But you feel bad rooting against either, because they do a good job playing their roles.

The guy deserves to have his money stolen... and they deserve to go to jail.

Hard to have a rooting interest when your own film divides the feelings of the audience.

Of the cast, The Rock easily steals the picture as the larger than life coke head.  He's funny and he delivers the best lines throughout the film. 

Also not mentioned is the always great Ed Harris as the private detective who helps bring the trio to justice.  Nice to see him playing a good guy again, as he's been wearing the black hat too often lately.

Crazy story you have to see to believe.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range.  Good but not great.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  I'd probably have to pass on owning it, and I'm not sure I'd sit through it again.  Once was good.  Maybe after a few years have passed?

Evel Knievel Had Nothing on the Guys from "Nitro Circus: The Movie"

Kids... Don't try this at home...

Unless you want to be famous!

The Story:

Travis Pastrana and his crew of daredevil buddies take extreme sports...to the extreme!

Sit back and watch 90 minutes of death-defying and sometimes amusing stunts performed for your entertainment...

As well as theirs!

The natural comparison to this film would be Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass series.  In fact, Mr. Knoxville stops by and provides some talking head insight into the Nitro Circus.

The best piece of advice he offers... Jackass designs the stunts to fail spectacularly and be hilarious.

If the Nitro Circus fails... they could be killed.

Sobering thought.

So the film follows them around the globe as they prepare for their performance for a sold-out crowd in Las Vegas. 

Many of the stunts they perform have to be done outside of America, for legal reasons.

The movie also spends time allowing you to get to know the crew, so they aren't just faces performing for your amusement.

Celebrity fans, including Channing Tatum (you can never have too much Channing Tatum in a film!) comment on how amazing these guys are.

And they really are.

Give it a whirl though, I promise you won't be bored.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I don't need to buy it, but I'd have no problems watching the stuntwork again.

Polio Schmolio..."FDR: American Badass"

The only thing we have to fear...is werewolves!?!?

The Story:

Governor Roosevelt (Barry Bostwick) is out hunting with his friends when they are attacked by a werewolf.  He is bitten in the leg and contracts polio.  When a chance encounter with a young fan at the hospital spurs Roosevelt to run for President...well, the rest as they say, is history.  Of course most history books overlook the fact that Hitler, Mussolini and Hirohito were all werewolves.

Yes, it's going to be a slightly different version of what the history books said!

Well, this film was no Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Instead of playing it straight, they went straight for the absurd in this film.  Heck, they even go for a Batman style logo segue between scenes, so you know from the get-go this is not going to be a conventional film by any means.

Barry Bostwick is hilarious as the aforementioned badass in the film.  He chews the scenery, and his cigarette, with relish and glee as he tears through the film.  The rest of the cast support him well.

The ridiculousness of the entire Axis of Evil (the first, and still the best...) being werewolves is insanely absurd, but works perfectly in this film.

So much so, that by the time the spirit of Abraham Lincoln (Kevin Sorbo) shows up, you question absolutely nothing at that point.  Of COURSE it had to happen that way!

;)

Really, the only thing I could do without was the scene involving bathroom humor.

And don't get me wrong, a good fart joke is *always* funny... ;)

But some films take it too far, and it crosses over from funny to disgusting.

So this film's getting docked for that...


Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing...

If you dare!

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: One and done was just the right amount for this film. 

Not All Heroes Have Powers..."Agents of SHIELD"

Welcome Back, Agent Coulson...

The Story:

SHIELD operative Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) returns.  Nuff Said!  But no, he brings with him a team of operatives: Ward (Brett Dalton) the muscle; Melinda May (Ming Na-Wen) the reluctant one; Fitz (Iain De Caestecker) engineering; Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) bio.  With Coulson calling the shots, they go after the group The Rising Tide and recruit one of them, Skye (Chloe Bennett) to help them track down the latest unregistered  hero.

Throwing in a nice cameo from Agent Hill (Cobie Smulders) and a cryptic tease about Agent Coulson...

It's a nice extension of the Marvel Universe on the small screen, and a worthy pick up from the events from The Avengers movie as they expand the mythos.

Considering we haven't had a quality live-action Marvel show since The Incredible Hulk, it's a nice change of pace.

I'll have to let the kids watch the old Nicholas Hammond Spider-Man show to see how good they've really got it.

It's an entertaining show that attempts to tell a story that enhances what we've enjoyed in the movie theaters. 

Plus, do not underestimate the appeal that Agent Coulson has resonated with the fans of the Marvel Universe.  His presence alone will carry a lot of good will throughout the season.  He got the best lines, but there was growth amongst the team as the show went along.

Happy that  Joss Whedon has brought the Agents to tv, and hope these all enjoy a nice long Buffy the Vampire Slayer type tenure.

I'm in for the season, and the DVR is set to go!

Final Grade: B+...A-... it's all good. ;)

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  I'm sure we'll hit a few episodes more than once in the near future, or while waiting for Season 2.  Will I be buying it?  Seems like the Marvel Universe would be missing them if the don't join the movie lot. :)

America's First Serial Killer..."Madness in the White City"

Jack the Ripper's got nothing on H.H. Holmes!

The Story:

1893, Chicago, home of the World's Fair.  Chicago pulls out all the stops to be awarded the spectacle that will bring thousands of people and dollars to their city.  Meanwhile, just outside the city, a deranged man begins constructing an elaborate hotel... of death!

This is the true story of how both stories intertwined.

Courtesy of the National Geographic Channel comes an interesting if somewhat uneven documentary that chronicles two different things.

One, is the 1893 Chicago World's Fair.

Talk about a blast from the past, this one had it all, electricity, motion pictures, the Ferris Wheel.  It's an amazing walk down memory lane at how inventive Americans were, and how many cool things came about at that fair.

It also discusses how Chicago had to work at a breakneck speed to prepare for the Fair, and literally finished just in time.

The second, is Holmes, who would become America's first (known?) serial killer.  This madman devised a torture chamber hotel and lured women who came to Chicago for the Fair to their doom.

The exact number of victims will remain lost to time, but it's pretty creepy from start to finish and puts a scary twist on the otherwise impressive feat that Chicago pulled off.

It's amazing how Holmes was eventually caught, and the suspicious circumstances of what became of his hotel of horrors...

Fun Fact of the documentary: They explain how Chicago became known as the "Windy City", and it's not for the reason you might think!


Now available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I think I'm good with watching it once, but I hear there is another documentary out there on the Fair itself, and I think I'd like to learn a little more about that one.  I'll let you know if/when I see it. : )