Some Stories Are Better Left Untold..."Pan"

Pan (2015)

Rated PG

Starring Levi Miller, Hugh Jackman, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara, Adeel Akhtar

Directed by Joe Wright

The Story:

A young orphan named Peter (Miller) is whisked away by a flying pirate ship during the height of World War II in Britain. He arrives in Neverland and meets the evil Blackbeard (Jackman) who is forcing all of these "lost boys" to mine for Pixium. He meets a fellow captive named Hook (Hedlund) and they escape Blackbeard's clutches and the adventure is on.

Who am I kidding?

I don't even want to write up a summary for this one.

It's a prequel to Peter Pan.

And it's boring.

End of review.

:)

Nah, I can't make it that easy, can I?

It has great production values, with both World War II era Britain looking great and the Neverland sets are beautiful.

But man, I was bored from almost the beginning. I think I even dozed off at least twice waiting for something to happen.

However, it's when all of the slaves under Blackbeard's thumb break into a rousing rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit that I lost all hope in this movie amounting to anything but a big budgeted spectacle.

Even Jackman can't save this one, though he gamely tries. Much like Chappie, it's too little, too late in a overlong story that could have used some judicious editing.

Seriously, who thought a 2 hour adventure on the boy who would be Pan would be a great idea?

I'm sure Disney will bring their live action tale to life in a few years, and maybe that will help remove this one from my memory.

We'll see.

Unimpressed, but I'll give them props for making something so boring look so nice.

Final Grade: D+

Prelude To Pan... "The Pirate Fairy"

The Pirate Fairy (2014)

Rated G

Starring the voices of:  Mae Whitman, Christina Hendricks, Tom Hiddleston, Lucy Liu, Raven-Symone

Directed by Peggy Holmes

The Story:

Zarina (Hendricks) is the newest fairy in Pixie Hollow.  She is responsible for the dust that the fairies use.  But she yearns for so much more.  She spends her off time trying to create new colors of dust.  When one of her mistakes goes awry, she leaves, heartbroken.  A year later, she returns, with a crew of Pirates in tow and they steal the dust from Pixie Hollow.  Tinker Bell (Whitman) and her pals go after them, but due to one of Zarina's experiments, all of the fairies have different powers than they are used to.  Will they be able to adapt and get the dust back before it's too late?

Much like my review for Barbie, having daughters will expose you to many movies and shows that a dad might otherwise get through life without ever having seen.

The fun part, is when these shows are actually rather entertaining, even though as a dad you should really groan and fuss to let the girls know your displeasure with watching it again, for the umpteenth time.

The Pirate Fairy does an interesting job of beginning to close the timeline of Tinker Bell movies to Peter Pan.

This is the 5th Tinker Bell film in the franchise, and the one most closely associated with the future for Tink.  We've glimpsed a young Wendy in an earlier installment, and this movie takes the next step:

A young pirate named James (Hiddleston).

Yep, the once and future Captain Hook!

And yes, Hiddleston voices James with all the sweet sincerity like his turn as Loki in the Thor franchise.

Oh, and the crocodile also makes his appearance... and he's absolutely adorable!

Strangely, I'm looking forward to seeing where the tales of Pixie Hollow take us next.

Darn those girls.


:)

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: We own it, and I don't want to tell you how many times I've already seen it, either whole or in part. :)