Some Stories Are Better Left Untold..."Pan"

Pan (2015)

Rated PG

Starring Levi Miller, Hugh Jackman, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara, Adeel Akhtar

Directed by Joe Wright

The Story:

A young orphan named Peter (Miller) is whisked away by a flying pirate ship during the height of World War II in Britain. He arrives in Neverland and meets the evil Blackbeard (Jackman) who is forcing all of these "lost boys" to mine for Pixium. He meets a fellow captive named Hook (Hedlund) and they escape Blackbeard's clutches and the adventure is on.

Who am I kidding?

I don't even want to write up a summary for this one.

It's a prequel to Peter Pan.

And it's boring.

End of review.

:)

Nah, I can't make it that easy, can I?

It has great production values, with both World War II era Britain looking great and the Neverland sets are beautiful.

But man, I was bored from almost the beginning. I think I even dozed off at least twice waiting for something to happen.

However, it's when all of the slaves under Blackbeard's thumb break into a rousing rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit that I lost all hope in this movie amounting to anything but a big budgeted spectacle.

Even Jackman can't save this one, though he gamely tries. Much like Chappie, it's too little, too late in a overlong story that could have used some judicious editing.

Seriously, who thought a 2 hour adventure on the boy who would be Pan would be a great idea?

I'm sure Disney will bring their live action tale to life in a few years, and maybe that will help remove this one from my memory.

We'll see.

Unimpressed, but I'll give them props for making something so boring look so nice.

Final Grade: D+