Rated R
Starring Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany
Directed by David Koepp
The Story:
Usually I try and sum up a film in a few sentences to give you an idea of what the film is about, without giving away any spoilers. However, I think I'll let Lionsgate do the the heavy lifting this time around:
" Juggling some angry Russians, the British Mi5, his impossibly leggy wife and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai must traverse the globe armed only with his good looks and special charm in a race to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold."
That's way better than I could do.
Heck, that synopsis almost makes me want to see this film again.
Except I watched the first 15-20 minutes of the film, and didn't get any of that.
My snynopsis would read something more along the lines of:
"Johnny Depp makes another piece of #@$# movie wherein he plays himself, or some semblance of Jack Sparrow, because he's a shell of an actor and continues to con his way into payday after payday making crap that people keep watching for some reason."
Oops.
Not a very good synopsis.
Not a very good movie.
Waste of a talented ensemble, and Johnny Depp continues to be on cruise control.
The movie never decides if it wants to be serious, a farce, a serious farce, a farcical drama.
So....sooooo bad.
Easily the worst movie of 2015.
Save yourself!
Final Grade: F-
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