The Lone Ranger (2013)
Rated PG-13 for Violence, language, and killing the legacy of a venerable American hero
Starring Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, William Fichtner, Tom Wilkinson
Directed by Gore Verbinski
The Story:
Tonto (Depp) narrates the story about how he and The Lone Ranger (Hammer) successfully defeated Butch Cavendish (Fichtner) and brought a corrupt railroad magnate (Wilkinson) to his knees.
That's not the William Tell Overture...
That's the sound of my childhood dying!
So many wrong decisions... where do I begin?
First, let's start with the tandem of Gore Verbinski and Johnny Depp.
The duo behind the wildly successful Pirates of the Caribbean series...
Don't get me started on that franchise.
The first one was okay, at best. I've seen them all, and I couldn't really tell you what happened in any of them, except Johnny Depp parades around acting like a drunken fool and special effects rain down across the screen.
Hey, moving from pirates to the Old West, they pretty much keep the same formula intact.
The biggest crime?
They play The Lone Ranger as a farce.
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| That Giant Boom? That's The Box Office Bomb Going Off! |
He was not an inept bumbler who got lucky in a fight.
Plus, the whole "Who Was That Masked Man?" was pretty much thrown out as everyone knew who he was, so what was the point of even donning the mask?
I don't even blame Hammer for his performance, he's almost charming in his role and has a few moments where if they had played the film straight, he would have done the character justice.
Nope, I keep the blame strictly on the Producers, Directors and Writers who decided THIS was the direction to take the film.
The funny thing, in the movie's 149 minute bloated run-time, there are times when it looks...and feels... like there is a good western film bubbling under the surface.
Then they come back with some newly contrived plot element that slaps you in the face and makes you realize, no, still the same movie, sorry.
Silver is the mystical spirit horse?
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| The Best Actor In This Scene Is Not Johnny Depp |
:: sigh ::
In spite of myself, when the final climax of the film gets started, along with the William Tell Overture...
The heart skips a beat because of nostalgia for Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels and all those Saturdays and Sundays growing up when The Lone Ranger was on and I watched with my dad.
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| Some Classics Are Better Left Alone |
Being tricked like that is a horrible feeling.
Which again is a shame, because some of the stunts in the final act are pretty entertaining, but at that point, I can only sit back and shake my head with indifference.
It could have been better.
It should have been better.
The Lone Ranger deserved better.
So did the fans.
Final Grade: Originally was going to give it a D+ for the things it got right...but the more I type this review, the angrier I became. So now, let's just go straight "D".
Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Thanks, but no thanks.
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