Happy Halloween? Not With This Yucky Treat... "V/H/S"

Still not scarier than BetaMax!

The Story:

People do stupid things.
And record it.

Thus making their stupidity immortal.

I guess.

18 minutes, and I turned it off.

Bored. Annoyed.
Pick one. 
Find a synonym, pick that.

The characters I was presented with were annoying and I really didn't care one bit about what may or may not happen to them.

I think eventually the guys were going to break into a guy's house to steal another tape to make some quick cash, but again, by that point I had completely lost interest.

Not good for a horror movie.

You've given me:

a) No premise
b) No killer
c) No victim
d) No plot
e) No reason to keep watching

If I want to watch dudes breaking stuff on video, I've got YouTube for that, and those people are better actors and make me at least interested in their story.

I hear that there were several segments, making this an anthology type movie.

Nope, still not interested, and not going to bother fast forwarding to find a chapter I might like.

Amazingly, there was a sequel, so this must have been somewhat successful.

The poster is cool looking, a nice 80s quality to it.

That's why I selected it for the picture to accompany the review.

That's about all I can say nice on the film's behalf.

If the movie was half as good...

Both V/H/S movies are streaming on Netflix if you're up to the challenge.

Final Grade: D-... aw heck, in the spirit of Halloween... F

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not in a million years...

Yesterday The Emperor...Today "The Queen"

You will kneel before...

Whoops, wrong movie!

The Story:

In 1997, Tony Blair (Michael Sheen) is elected Prime Minister of England in a landslide victory.  Queen Elizabeth (Helen Mirren) welcomes him to the position, and then the unthinkable happens... Princess Diana is killed in an auto accident.  This movie is basically a recreation of that turbulent week in the life of the Royal Family.

This is an interesting look at the lives of the monarchy, and what and how they lived their lives up until that moment.

As Diana was no longer a member of the Royal Family, she wasn't entitled to... well, anything.  Protocol procedures were set in place, and that's just the way things are.

Naturally, the British people (and the world) loved Diana, and they began to grow bitter with the Royals and the perceived lack of caring and sympathy on their part.

Blair actually gained more respect as he was the only official that seemed to even acknowledge what Diana meant to the people.  He tries to persuade the Queen to make a public display, but she refuses and continues to follow protocol.

Naturally, it's the worst week of the Queen's life.

: /

Mirren does a bang up job as the Queen, but that's to be expected.

This is a good movie, however I don't believe that it was a great one.  All of the accolades it received... well, okay, I don't see it, but that's fine.  Somehow with the passing years and they hype and Academy Awards that surrounded it, I was expecting something... more.

It wasn't bad, by any stretch of the imagination.  Like I said, it wasn't a great movie, it's basically a character study of the stoicism of the Queen.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Glad I saw it, but once was good enough.

10 Days That Shaped the Future of the World... "Emperor"

What is the price for peace?

The Story:

It's 1945 and the Japanese have surrendered.  General MacArthur (Tommy Lee Jones) has 10 days to report back to Washington whether Emperor Hirohito was responsible for starting the war and should be tried (and executed) as a war criminal or is he should be spared.  MacArthur turns to General Fellers (Matthew Fox), an expert on Japanese culture to do the research.  What follows is Fellers race against time to find out if the Emperor was involved or was forced, but Fellers has a secret of his own that will also occupy his time and efforts.

This was better than I thought it would be.

Based on the true story, I have no idea how much of course is fact or how far the truth is stretched, but it's not bad.

Fellers secret: there was a girl he loved in Japan, and he wanted to find out if she was alive.  It turns out, he may have also done some behind the scenes planning attempting to ensure her survival in Japan.

The flashbacks to his life pre-war in Japan, and his quest to find her were the slow parts for me in this movie.

It was much more fascinating to see what kind of timetable the Generals were working on to wrap up everything for the President.

In the end, the decisions are based on sound logic and evidence that will never be known.

It's hard to say if those choices were right or wrong, but the importance of the occupation and rebuilding were hinging on that very thing, so the decision to let the Emperor live was the correct one to make.

Regardless of the Emperor's starting of the war, he was directly responsible for ending it before anymore blood was shed, and should be recognized for that.


Tommy Lee Jones carries his MacArthur with much swagger and bravado, sadly he is hardly in the movie.  The bulk of the movie is Fox attempting to find out what happened to the girl, and questioning officials on what the Emperor did and did not know.

Director Peter Webber balances out the two interweaving tales rather well.  When I felt the story was dragging under the search for the girl, he would bring it back with a shot of Tommy Lee Jones to recharge the movie. :)  I'm not familiar with his other 2 feature films, but so far I'd say he's a solid, if not spectacular, director.

The movie is definitely worth a look when you get the chance.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would have no problem watching it again, but I won't be out actively trying to purchase it.

Last Monday Night in October..."WWE 25 Greatest Rivalries in Wrestling History"

Whatchoo Gonna Do....


The Story:

This is pretty straightforward, the WWE looks at what they consider the 25 greatest wrestling rivalries in the history of wrestling.

You can argue that some of the placements are wrong... this one was more important/better than that one...

You can argue that there are some rivalries that are just plain missing from this set...

You won't be wrong.

However, for a new fan, here's 25 reasons why fans love watching wrestling.

These were compelling stories, and you'd swear it's... dare I say it...

They. Were. Real!

These guys seemed to not like each other one bit, and that normally spelled magic in the ring.

Each rivalry is accompanied by a WWE personality or talking head that discussed their thoughts on the rivalry. 

There are some interesting choices about who is doing the talking.  Some obvious, some less so.

Strangely, they do  not talk to the combatants in the feud.  I'm not sure if it's for better or worse that they did that.

Hey, talk about that time that you really didn't like this guy...

: /

Instead, they use clips and photographs to tell the story and let you feel the feud.

For the ones you've never seen, it's a good representation.

For the ones that you watched, it's like a magic time machine that takes you back and you remember watching it unfold live and brings back some good memories of some great matches.

The only other thing that was a letdown on this set...

The dorky chemistry lab references & hostess.

Otherwise, no complaints.

The countdown is streaming on Netflix as of this writing, if you want to see some of the matches, you'll have to buy or rent the rest of the set.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  Someday... ;)

Halloween Weekend Concludes... "Cockneys Vs. Zombies"

Those pesky zombies are at it again!

The Story:

Over in London's East End, a pair of slacker brothers, Terry (Rasmus Hardiker) and Andy (Harry Treadway) decide on a plan to rob a bank to save their granddad's (Alan Ford) retirement home.  They bring in some assistance including their cousin (Michelle Ryan) but wouldn't you know that during their robbery, a zombie outbreak sweeps through the streets.  Now the gang has to get to the retirement home and save their grandfather and other residents before it's too late!

Bwahaahahaha....

Good stuff.
Again!

The horror-comedy genre is alive and kicking, and maybe I should specify that it's a zombie-com... Zom-Com?  Could this be the latest subgenre of film?

If so, count this guy as a fan.  I've been having a blast watching these films this year, and Cockneys vs. Zombies is a proud addition to the roster.

The film relishes its R rating, and the Brits are swearing up one side and down the other as they try and fight off the Zombie hordes.

As to how the outbreak started, stroke of historical genius that I won't spoil here, but made for a very amusing start to the film.

All of the cast does a stellar job, and I was only familiar with one cast member: Honor Blackman.  Yep, apparently Pussy Galore is alive and well, and living in a retirement home!  She gets to kick a little butt when the zombies attack the retirement home.

Plus, I would be remiss if I didn't say that this movie has....

THE
GREATEST
ZOMBIE
CHASE
SCENE.

EVER!!!

I kid you not.  I was laughing so hard, and it must be seen to be enjoyed properly.

Highly Recommended!

Final Grade: B+/A- take your pick, I wouldn't argue either way.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Again, it's hard to pull these off at my house, but I wouldn't complain about seeing it again during the Halloween holiday season.  I think we're closing in on double digits of great horror comedy films, just this year alone!

: )

Twas the Weekend Before Halloween... "The Revenant"

There are apparently worse things than dying...

The Story:

Bart Gregory (David Anders) is a soldier in the military who gets killed.  However, he winds up coming back to life, and with the help of his best friend Joey (Chris Wylde), he decides that it wouldn't be so bad if he killed bad people and used their blood to keep him alive.  Theoretically, he's doing the rest of the world a service.

Ah, the best laid plans of the undead...

I'm torn.

I'd been on such a great streak with all of the Zom-Coms this year, this one seemed to be heading down similar territory.

Instead of going for full-on vampire or zombie, they used the old myths of the Revenants, corpses that came back from the dead and needed to feast on blood to stay alive.

However, the movie then changes the tone by having the best friend get turned also.

Okay, now we have buddy revenants out for a good time...

But then they come back to the original love story from the beginning...

And the movie seems to lose direction...



Then boredom began to set in.

: /

And don't get me started on the meandering,  "totally lost their way" 3rd act.

It's like a movie that had no idea how it wanted to end, or find a way to execute it.

The final decisions aren't bad, and partly clever.  The beat-around-the-bush way of getting there though downgraded a movie that started off with a fairly strong premise.

Ah well.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Have to say no to both.

But tomorrow, the scary weekend is redeemed!

Sometimes the Best Advice is Simply "Straight Talk"

Get down off the cross honey, somebody needs the wood!

The Story:

Shirlee Kenyon (Dolly Parton) is tired of her small-town life and boyfriend (Michael Madsen) so she takes off to Chicago to start over.  Looking for employment at a radio station, she accidentally winds up on the air giving callers advice.  Her small-town ways and folksy charm are an instant hit, and the station hires her.  However, they want to call her "Dr." Shirlee.  She reluctantly agrees, but when a local reporter (James Woods) begins to investigate her credentials, he finds himself falling for the irresistible Shirlee.

Who said James Woods couldn't play the leading man in a romantic comedy?  Look no further than here for proof!  Maybe not any longer, but once upon a time...

Okay, this movie is simply cute and charming, with capital "c's" for both.

Dolly Parton basically plays herself, because in all of my years seeing her on television and movies, this is how she comes across.

It's a natural fit, and that's why over 20 years later, this movie doesn't seem the least bit dated.

I hadn't seen this one in ages, so it was a nice pleasant trip down memory lane.

Recommended, especially if you haven't ever seen it, or it's been the better part of 20 years since you last watched.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do believe I own it, it's just been quite sometime since it's been played.  Nice to see it once again, hopefully I don't wait 20 more years to let it play.