You Don't Want to Get on the Bad Side of "Killer Joe"

I sure hope this wasn't based on a true story...

The Story:

Chris (Emile Hirsch) is in debt.  He hears about a contract killer named Joe (Matthew McConaughey) who will perform the service for a fee.  The plan is to kill Chris' mom, and the $50,000 insurance policy will go to his sister, Dottie (Juno Temple).  He gets his dad's (Thomas Haden Church) approval, and with his stepmom (Gina Gershon) in on it, it's a family affair.  The only problem, Joe wants the money up front: No money, no service.  Desperate, they give Joe a retainer:  Dottie.

Oh my.

This film is a train-wreck of epic proportions.  It is simultaneously disturbing, funny, scary, mesmerizing and insane... all at the same time.

Yet you cannot turn away.

McConaughey is a commanding presence, his laid back surfer attitude buried under a machine of man who is all business, all the time.

To talk more about the plot would ruin any of the twists and turns that the film takes to get to the finale, which is a very ambiguous finale by the way.

It's a dark film... I'll say that much about it.

Kinda creepy too.

You'll want to shower after you watch it...

: /

Final Grade: C
Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No, I now have to try and erase the memories of this movie from my mind.  : )

3.14 Reasons To Watch "Life of Pi"

Mmm... Pi...

The Story:

A writer (Rafe Spall) comes to Canada to talk to a man named Pi (Irrfan Khan) about a story that he hears will be fantastical.  Pi relates how when he was a boy (Suraj Sharma), his family died in a shipwreck, and he survived on the open ocean for over 200 days alone in a boat.

With a Bengal Tiger...

You think to yourself, seriously?  This was a book... and they turned it into a movie?  That must be a great story.

Depends on your point of view.

I went in with no expectations, and not really wanting to see it.  I mean, it's directed by Ang Lee, and he couldn't even film a decent version of the Hulk for Marvel.  : /

But he redeems himself here.  What's real, what's special effects... hard to gauge in this one.  It is a visually stunning movie.  Perhaps the most beautiful movie you'll watch all year.

As the story unfolds, you get wrapped into it, and like the clever breaks in The Princess Bride, we cut back to now every once in a while to get some clarity or perspective.

However, you listen, transfixed to this man's story...

And then it's over.

And then he tells another one, and it's heartbreaking and sad.

And then the whole point of the movie is made.

Some people love it, some people feel tricked.

You can probably guess by my grade where I fell.


Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Potential: Very likely on both counts.  The fact of the matter is, I've already watched it twice already, and I think it was even better the second time around.  Ang Lee, you've redeemed yourself for me... at least for now. : )

What Are You, Some Kind of Psycho? "Hitchcock"

Good Evening...

The Story:

It's 1959, and Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) is riding high on the success of North by Northwest.  When he's questioned by reporters if he shouldn't just quit now while he's on top, he takes that as a personal challenge and prepares for his next project with his wife, Alma (Helen Mirren).  Hitch wants to do something personal and daring, and when the studio has no desire to indulge his latest project, he decides to bankroll it himself.  A lot is riding on his gamble... what are the odds that a disturbing film based on a true story would be a hit?  And so begins... Psycho.

Sorta nifty.

Much like I claimed that Lincoln was totally misnamed, Hitchcock fares a little better.

While it is an entertaining look at what went on, or at least allegedly went on, as Hitchcock created his now cinematic masterpiece, there's more to this story than that.

No, the real heart and soul of this movie belongs to Alma Reville, Hitchcock's wife and partner for just about his entire career.  Mirren is phenomenal as always, and she brings more to the table, for me, than anyone else in the cast by miles. 

Hopkins is rendered almost invisible under the makeup, but the pursey pronunciations to try and mimic Hitch's voice and speech patterns can snap you out of the trance of what you're watching.  That's never a good thing.

What Hitchcock had to do to make Psycho a hit is great cinema.  It appears that we owe much of Hitchcock's brilliance to his wife, and if nothing else...

That's the real takeaway from this movie.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It was alright, but I think once was enough.  The more you love Hitch though, the more apt this movie is to replayed in your home.

"Bachelorette": Nothing Worse Than A Humorless Comedy.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

The Story:

Becky (Rebel Wilson) is getting married.  Much to the dismay of her best friend Regan (Kirsten Dunst) who thought she would be going down the aisle first.  Regan becomes the Maid of Honor and spends the next six months organizing the wedding.  The movie mostly takes place at the night before the wedding when all of the bridesmaids are in town, including the girls other two friends, Gena and Katie (Lizzy Caplan and Isla Fisher).  The three insult Becky by mistake, destroy her dress, and then spend a wild night of drugs, alcohol and stupidity trying to fix everything in time for the wedding the next morning.

Man, with friends like that...

First, the school of thought was, if the guys can have a raunchy rated R comedy, why can't girls? 
Thus, we were blessed to receive Bridesmaids, which was amusing, but not hilariously funny.
Though when put in comparison to this film, it was downright hysterical.

Nope, apparently Leslye Headland who wrote it, directed it, and based it off a play, thought her stuff was funny with a capital F.

Having ladies spew obscenities, walk around getting wasted and having sex with anyone they please isn't funny. 

And to be fair, it's not funny when guys do it either.

Unless...

The dialogue is off-the-wall insanely hilarious.

Which it isn't.

Much to the waste of these great actresses, Rebel Wilson who I found hilarious in Pitch Perfect, Kirsten Dunst who was wrong as Mary Jane Watson, but otherwise acquits herself nicely in most anything, and Isla Fisher who was great in Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Here, all that talent was wasted spewing obscenities, snorting coke, or just behaving awful.

Even the always terrific Adam Scott can't rise above the material, though he is about the only bright spot in the movie (other than Rebel Wilson).  Go figure that the two characters that have the most heart and sincerity in the entire film are the bride who is barely used and the ex-boyfriend of one of the female leads.

James Marsden is also wasted in his role as the best man.

So much talent... so wrongly executed.

Now available to steam (typo, but I'm leaving it!) instantly on Netflix.

Final Grade: D+
Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Never in a million years...

Five Years Gone Already? "I Ain't Scared of You: A Tribute to Bernie Mac"

Gone too soon...

The Story:

Bernie Mac was a great comedian who passed away just as his star was shining brightest.  This documentary/remembrance of the late comedian is a touching tribute to the man.

Interspersed with audio/video from Bernie himself, it offers a quick chronicle of his life up to his passing.  From his humble beginnings as a dirt-poor kid in Chicago until he was the toast of Hollywood, this offers a nice career retrospective on a comic genius gone too soon.

His daughter appears to be the one who is asking questions and hearing anecdotes from Bernie's friends, family and co-stars.

On hand to share stories are Cedric the Entertainer, Samuel L. Jackson, Angela Basset, Steven Soderbergh, Chris Rock and many, many more.

It's funny, touching, and bittersweet.  At just over an hour, like the man himself, it's over too soon.

Recommended for fans of his comedy or acting work.



Available to stream instantly on Netflix until May 1st, so act quick if you want to watch it.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Probably a perfect bookend for big Bernie Mac fans.  Otherwise, one viewing was enough to remind you of how great of a comedian he was.

Even Danny Trejo is No Match Against The "Rise of the Zombies"!!

Brains... a requirement for zombies and screenwriters...

The Story:  It appears that something rotten has hit the water supply in California.  The movie begins with a group of survivors on Alcatraz, the perfect escape location in the event of a zombie outbreak.  But alas, the zombies take to the surf and arrive on the shores of The Rock.  Natually, the survivors head to the mainland for help.  They split into two groups, one destined for the evacuation point, the other to a university where a cure was being worked on.  Will anyone survive?

When your main selling point on the poster is an image of Danny Trejo, you know you're in trouble.  Because, granted, the man is a genius and people want to see him in movies.  But come on, either be pure grade B camp or try and muster some semblance of a story for the audience.

First, the premise is genius.  Where better to hide from zombies than on Alcatraz?  Nowhere I can think of.

But unlike The Day, where those weren't real zombies, these zombies are apparently fast-ish, and they think.

Those are two of my least favorite things to assign to zombies.

I like my slow, lumbering, brains-wishing zombies.  You say that's not frightful, but when you add numbers to that pack... pretty darn skeevie, really.

In addition to Trejo, your star is Mariel Hemingway, LeVar Burton plays the dumbest scientist you'll ever meet... unless you count French Stewart.

With a cast like that, you've got to have fun and make it entertaining.

Instead, it simply plays by the numbers.  Bitten...change within 30 seconds... become a ravenous monster.

Perhaps I'm jaded in wanting more from zombie flicks, but that's just how it is.


Upon further inspection of this film, it premiered on the SyFy network.  That explains a lot...

This film is available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C-
Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Sorry, I'd have to pass.

I Might As Well... Jump! "Man on a Ledge"

I am...an innocent man...

The story of a man inspired by a Billy Joel lyric...

The Story:

Nick (Sam Worthington) is a cop who was falsely accused, or so he claims, of stealing a diamond from a ruthless businessman (Ed Harris).  On the run, he brings to fruition a scheme with his little brother (Jamie Bell) to steal the diamond...for the first time... to prove that Nick is innocent.  To do this, Nick stands on a ledge of a hotel and threatens to jump.  This very public display is going to be Nick's second trial, and he's going to prove he's innocent... or die trying!

I will be honest, I loved this movie the second I saw the trailer.

When I finally saw the movie, it was just as good, if not better, than the trailer had promised.

So for those that say Hollywood never comes up with anything new, this was pretty new to me.

Or at least, it wasn't a sequel, wasn't a toy/comic franchise, wasn't a remake... so that's pretty new in my book.

Ed Harris is gleefully slimey as the bad guy.  In his career, he's played both sides of the law, but I think he relishes the turns when he's not wearing the white hat more often than not.

I am a fan of Sam Worthington, at least in making Clash and Wrath of the Titans watchable fun.  Count me as one of the 17 people on Earth to have not seen, nor really have any interest in seeing Avatar, and there you have it.

Also, well done to Elizabeth Banks who holds her own as a police negotiator who is in a deep downward spiral, but Nick feels he can trust her more than any other policeman on the force and insists she is brought in for the job.

Count me as a fan of this movie.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Potential: Extremely rewatchable, in fact I just watched it within the last week, thus the review.  And yes, I own it.