It Takes A Thief..."Precious Cargo"

Precious Cargo (2016)

Rated R

Starring Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Bruce Willis, Claire Forlani,

Directed by Max Adams

The Story:

Karen (Forlani) has swiped some important information from Eddie Pilosa (Willis) and he wants to make sure she can't use it. As his boys try and track her down, she goes to meet her former lover, Jack (Gosselaar) an exceptional thief in his own right to enlist his assistance in the prize that Eddie is trying to get: millions of dollars worth of gems. But in a world of thieves, who can you trust?

As with all heist movies of any sort, the amount of twists, turns, and betrayals are part of the fun of the movie, so I won't elaborate on anything of the sort here.

For a budget B movie though, they do a very good job of keeping us as entertained as possible. I'm reminded of last year's Heist, both are films that delivered far more interest than other would-be blockbuster films with three times the budget.

The cast does a fine job, and Gosselaar acquits himself nicely in this film as the hero with a heart of gold, but also at least half a brain on knowing who he can and cannot trust.

Bruce Willis delivers a little more than a glorified cameo in this one, and he seems to at least be interested in what's happening in this one compared to some of his other straight to DVD fare.

Not the greatest heist / action caper I've ever seen, but the best one of the year so far.

:)

Final Grade: C+

Hail to the King, Baby! "Guns, Girls and Gambling!"

It's being released on February 28th... in Russia...

That can't be a good sign!


The Story:

John Smith (Christian Slater) is at an Indian Casino, tries his hand at Elvis Impersonation against Gay Elvis (Chris Kattan), Little Person Elvis (Tony Cox), Asian Elvis and The King (Gary Oldman).  The boys all play poker that night, and when Smith wakes up in the morning, an ancient mask has been stolen from the casino, and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE wants it back.  Smith claims he doesn't have it, but that's not going to stop an assorted who's who of crazies from trying to find him, and kill him, to get it back.

You know, sometimes you never know what to expect in a movie like this.  The title alone warns you, it's strictly Grade B (or Z, your call) for script, title, etc. etc.

Then the movie starts, and you realize that it's a venture that doesn't take itself anymore seriously than the title did, and this film doesn't disappoint.

Instead, you smile and shake your head in amusement at the story they are pulling off in front of you, kick back, check your brain at the door, and try and have a good time.

You do that, this film won't disappoint.

Try and understand why master thespian Gary Oldman is in this film playing Elvis, and you will give yourself a migraine!

As for me, I enjoyed it.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.


Final Grade:  B

Would I Want to Own It:  Amazingly enough, I could watch this one again when I'm in the mood for some Budget Movie Awesomeness!