Land Ho! (2014)
Rated R
Starring Earl Lynn Nelson, Paul Eenhorn
Written and Directed by Aaron Katz & Martha Stevens
The Story:
A pair of ex-brothers-in-law set off on a road trip through Iceland to apparently rediscover their youth.
I say apparently because after 5 minutes, I was so bored, I didn't want to spend the next 90 minutes of my life watching this embarrassment of a movie or listening to the insipid dialogue being spouted by the barely believable actors.
It's times like these that I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and figure out what part of the synopsis made me think, "hey, maybe this could be entertaining" and just slap the notion straight out of my head.
I wasn't even going to review this one at all, but I figured, it can be the last bad movie that gets reviewed before the annual "Worst Movies of 2015" list.
It won't make it, because I tend to give those honors to the movies that had a budget and real actors and maybe even a premise that made you want to see it.
These independents that get made for $20 bucks and a handshake with a bunch of independent film critics to rave about how great the movie is...
Color me skeptical.
Maybe it's time to see the movie poster with all the fake accolades on it, and take names of the people who are obviously telling outrageous lies in order to make ends meet.
I'm wary of you, film festival reviewers.
"Uproarious" - GQ
"B.S." - Me.
Complete waste of time.
Final Grade: F-
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