When Movies Like "Are You Here" Forget The ?... It's Never A Good Sign

Are You Here (2013)

Rated R

Starring Owen Wilson, Zack Galifianakis, Amy Poehler, Laura Ramsey

Written and Directed by Matthew Weiner

The Story:

Ben (Galifianakis) finds out his father has died and he takes his best friend, Steve (Wilson), to the funeral and reading of the will.  Ben winds up with the lion's share of the inheritance much to the displeasure of his sister (Poehler) and step-mother (Ramsey). Ben decides he wants to give his buddy the house and property, and Steve decides he wants to be with the stepmom.

And this goes on, and on, and on...

For nearly 2 hours!

What's the almost-universal first rule of comedy movies?

90 minute running time.

Or be funny.

Preferably both.

This one fails on both accounts.

Waaaaay too long.

I think this happens when you have a writer who is the director and director who is the writer.

Don't be afraid to cut some of the less important scenes that drag things down.

You can always come back with a director's cut later.

The other bad part... it's just not that funny.

There's a few things that bring a chuckle or a smile, but otherwise... no.

Which is weird.  You've got a funny cast assembled.

It seems like Galifianakis is simply playing to his Hangover character a bit.

Owen Wilson seems to have signed on simply because he gets to hang out with naked actresses every five minutes. Reclaiming his Wedding Crashers glory days apparently.

Save your time, and if someone offers "Are You Here," say no thanks.


Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nothing in here screams "watch me again." Ever.

Let's Get Hairy! "Mansome"

How manly are you?


The Story:

This documentary takes a look at men.  How manly are we? What do beards, moustaches and constant grooming say about men as a whole? 


Unlike Morgan Spurlock's usual documentaries, this one plays more as a star-filled comedy documentary.

You have Jason Bateman and Will Arnett doing some schtick at a health spa to break up the segments within the documentary.  I guess when you sign up as Executive Producers, you get what you want, though their bits are too long, and not nearly as funny as they should be, or as they probably think they were.

Then you have the following interviewed:

Judd Apatow
Adam Carolla
Zach Galifianakis
Paul Rudd

So this isn't man in the street territory.

The documentary itself is also a bit uneven in presentation.  Spurlock is heavily invested and seen in the first segment (moustaches) and then completely disappears for the rest of the film.  Odd to say the least, and so unlike any other documentary that I've seen him present.

The second segment on beards is overly long, painfully paced, and stars a guy that really is hard to care about since his only passion in life is having a great beard...but when you stack him against the competition at beard competitions (really???) his beard just doesn't look that great.  It's simply long.

It picks up again after that with showing what wrestlers have to endure to basically be completely shaved to do their jobs correctly.  Man, that's got to suck.

Then it gets an overlong metrosexual finale with perhaps the vainest "man" on the planet.  Likely not, but again, like the beard, too long, and the character much less interesting.


It's amusing at times, and indeed an interesting topic.

However when you average out the great with the so-so...

Final Grade: C
Would I Own It: Nah, I'm good.


Available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.