A Holiday Lump of Coal... "Holiday Breakup"

Holiday Breakup (2016)

TV-14

Starring Manon Mathews, Shawn Roe, Katie Leclerc, Matt Riedy, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Diane Robin

Written and Directed by Temple Mathews

The Story:

Chloe (Mathews) and Jeff (Roe) are a couple that have just moved in together. Except, after a lecture by his dad, Jeff begins to realize how childish Chloe is always acting, and the two break up. However, with the holidays looming, they decide to just pretend to still be together to avoid all of the awkward pity parties that they might be forced to hear. Will the pretend love rekindle their lost love, or is their relationship forever doomed?

In case you think I love all Christmas movies equally, here's proof that I don't, and I apparently have some sort of filter on what I consider a good Christmas movie, and the ones I just don't like.

I've often said that most films that are made now have competent direction, decent acting and the only thing that truly can let a film down for me is a bad story.

This hits the trifecta.

First, the story is written and directed by the same guy. So the terrible dialogue and 1 dimensional characters are all his fault.

Then the acting is abysmal. Chloe's "childishness" is so overblown, it's a wonder that anyone likes her at all. Then Jeff is so preoccupied with having breakup sex, the two are just oil and water and not only do I want them to either get back together or stay apart, I need them to do it now.

My other usual complaint when I don't like a movie is that it had too long of a running time. Trim 15, 30, 45 minutes and the movie would be better.

Well conversely, this movie that clocks in under 90 minutes, the standard "perfect time" for a movie....

However it feels like you're enduring a 3 hour marathon.

If you'd like to see for yourself, the movie is currently streaming on Netflix.

Thankfully it was not a Netflix original, and maybe it will go away by next year.

:)

Final Grade: D-

Kurt Russell IS Santa Claus... "The Christmas Chronicles"

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

TV-PG

Starring Kurt Russell, Judah Lewis, Darby Camp, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Oliver Hudson, Martin Roach, Lamorne Morris,

Directed by Clay Kaytis

The Story:

Kate and Teddy Pierce (Camp & Lewis) stay up late on Christmas Eve to catch Santa (Russell) in the act. However, when they stowaway on his sled, they inadvertently set off a chain of events that could have serious repercussions to Christmas.

Netflix's third (and final?) Christmas release for 2018 premiered on Thanksgiving Day and seems to have attained the status of instant classic from all the buzz that seems to surround it.

While the previous films played like a Hallmark/Lifetime cable movie, The Christmas Chronicles seemed to have the big budget feel of a film that could have been in theaters.

Looking back at similar stories on Santa needing help to save Christmas, we've had several hit theaters over the decades, so maybe that's it.

The greatest strength of this film is Kurt Russell.

There's no role he can't pull off, but until now, I don't think anyone ever thought, hey, wouldn't Kurt Russell make a great Santa Claus?

Someone did.

And it was nothing short of genius.

This isn't your typical ho ho ho nice Santa.

This Santa has that little extra Kurt Russell swagger that makes the film a real joy to watch, as Russell seems to be loving what he's doing onscreen.

You'll find yourself laughing one minute and crying the next.

:)

Plus Kurt gets a chance to channel one of his other greatest roles in the middle of this film as well.

Totally worth your time, and I'll probably give this one another spin later in the season, and it has definitely earned an annual replay.

Final Grade:

A-

Countdown to Christmas 2018: The Princess Switch

The Princess Switch (2018)

TV-PG

Starring Vanessa Hudgens, Sam Palladio, Nick Sagar, Alexa Adeosun

Directed by Mike Rohl

The Story:

Stacy (Hudgens) is entered and accepted into an annual Christmas baking competition in the European country of Belgravia. When she arrives, she bumps into Lady Margaret (Hudgens) and the two realize they must be related because the resemblance is striking. Lady Margaret so wants to live just a normal life so she concocts a scheme to swap places with Stacy for just 2 days, after all, what could possibly go wrong?

Netflix offered up their next holiday original the week before Thanksgiving.

Taking the successful Lifetime/Hallmark/Freeform/Disney formula and basically Parent Trapping Christmas, Hudgens steps into this Princess and the Pauper update and gets to play the spunky baker who years for something more and the shy princess who simply wants all the attention to go away.

Naturally with the 2 obvious love interests, a prince (Palladio) and a best friend zoner (Sagar) you can see exactly how the movie ends roughly 5 minutes after it starts.

But they wouldn't call these formula movies if the formula didn't work, right?

This one hits all the right notes and should be one that winds up in your annual Christmas movie viewings for years to come.

So far Netflix has been 2 for 2 this year, but their most ambitious Christmas offering is still to come!


Final Grade: 
B

Countdown To Christmas 2018: The Holiday Calendar

The Holiday Calendar (2018)

TV-PG

Starring Kat Graham, Quincy Brown, Ethan Peck, Ron Cephas Jones

Directed by Bradley Walsh

The Story:

Abby (Graham) is a struggling photographer who wants nothing more than to open her own studio. With the holidays fast approaching and her life in a bit of a spiral, Gramps (Jones) gives her Grandma's antique advent calendar. However, as each day reveals a new gift, that gift seems to come true in real life and it sends Abby down a path that could forever alter her future.

As someone who no longer has cable, I don't get the joy of watching FreeForm (Formerly ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas) where they saturated their airwaves with original and classic Christmas movies.

Nor do I have the luxury of Lifetime or Hallmark for a Christmas movie fix.

When I wrote up a list of Christmas movies that I do have access to, including what I own and what streaming services I have (Netflix & Amazon) I have over 130 choices...

So 25 Days of Christmas doesn't cut it at our house, and we start November 1st!!!

But as I said, I do have Netflix, and they carry a few of these offerings from Christmases past, they have started creating their own Christmas movies as well.

This year, they've introduced 3 (so far...) that I'm aware of, and The Holiday Calendar was the first of those 3.

Now the thing with Christmas movies you have to remember, is they often follow a very obvious pattern, but those of us that like Christmas movies usually don't care about that, it's a warm and comfortable feeling that makes you feel cozy while you watch it.

Or it's dreadful. :)

Thankfully, this wasn't dreadful. It was a lot of fun, and while you know how the film is going to end, you enjoy the trip that you're taking to get there.

So far so good, and this one will enter the ranks of the movies we will watch again each Christmas time.

Hoping Netflix continues this trend of yuletide offerings each year!

Final Grade: B

Go Stuff Yourself... The Turkey of the Year Winners for 2018

The worst of the worst.

While I certainly did not review as many movies as in years gone by, I still saw enough films that I just didn't care for.

As has become an annual Thanksgiving tradition, I now recollect the least entertaining films that I saw since Thanksgiving of 2017 to Thanksgiving 2018.

Justice League - The DC cinematic universe just does nothing for me. This movie seemed like a mishmash of styles, a little brooding and dark and a little levity to try and make it seem more Marvel-ous. I sat through it, couldn't tell you what happened, and know that I nodded off for a bit during the film, and apparently didn't miss a thing.

That's not a good recipe for a superhero film in 2018.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets - A rare Luc Besson total misfire. There was an interesting concept buried in there somewhere, but the dull dishwater chemistry of the two leads pretty much killed any momentum the movie tried to build. Save yourself and go watch the Fifth Element instead.

Breakfast at Tiffany's - The only "classic" on the list this year, so I thought I'd give it a whirl and see how awesome it was. I was not expecting the boredom and characters that followed and the most disturbingly unfunny racist character to ever be on the silver screen. And really, that's saying something right there! I suppose it could have gotten better as the movie went along, but I was in no way attached to any of the characters during that first Act to even care to continue. The only movie on this list that I actually turned off.

November Criminals - I barely remember watching this one, but I do remember wondering why I hadn't bothered to turn it off. More character chemistry issues like those in Valerian with two leads that just failed to energize the movie in any way, shape, or form. Then there was a credibility to the story that kept stretching the suspension of disbelief way past the point of breaking.

The Dark Tower -  After years of not having any Stephen King movies in theaters, 2017 brought his works back to the silver screen with It and the Dark Tower. Just like the good old days, it appears that we are back to the good Stephen King/bad Stephen King adaptations.  For as good as It was, The Dark Tower was equally inept. A solid cast that was given nothing to work with, a 90 minute film felt closer to four hours of tediousness.  Thankfully next up: It 2

Mother! The exclamation point is possible inserted to cut off the profanity that you utter when you realize what a hunk of celluloid garbage you are sitting through. Easily one of the worst films I've ever endured sitting through. I even used the fast forward button... a lot... and this was still a chore to get through and no payoff for investing all that time.

With the flip of the calendar, time to put the next year's worth of reviews on notice that they could end up here next year.

Thanks for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving!!

R.I.P. Stan "The Man" Lee 1922-2018

I absolutely hate writing these, and for quite some time I have avoided these, and a lot of writing this year for various reasons.

But when I saw the news today that Stan Lee had passed away at the age of 95, well, it's time to dust off the keyboard and get back to my favorite job:

Writing.

I owe that passion for writing to Stanley Martin Lieber, better known to us all as Stan Lee.

I was first introduced to Stan Lee as the creator of Spider-Man with  Amazing Fantasy # 15.

While I wasn't lucky enough to be around when it premiered, through countless reprints, I learned of Spider-Man's origins from the nerdy Peter Parker to the hero with problems, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

What made Peter Parker or the Fantastic Four so special?

Lee brought the humanity to his characters, the kind of which you never really saw in the Distinguished Competition.  Batman, Superman and the like seemed to perfect in what they did. There wasn't second guessing, joking because they were scared or any of those things. They were godlike, or at the very least, nearly perfect in the way their lives unfolded.

At Marvel, they were humans that were often thrust to do heroic things, even if it terrified them as they were doing it. It was refreshing, it was new... And now it's the model of how it's done.

Through the decades, fans have debated which was better, DC or Marvel. My answer has always been Marvel.

Stan imbued his characters with the best traits that we often aspire to be.

At the end of the day, it wasn't the costume, it was the person that wore the costume that truly mattered.

You take Peter Parker or Steve Rogers or Tony Stark or countless others out of their costume, and they are still as heroic and noble and yes, flawed, as when they are in it.

The man who brought "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility" to life on the comic page for a teenaged hero-to-be spoke to us all.  We all have that power within us, we must use that power responsibly.

It is through our actions that we make the world a better place, and Stan gave us a great role model for kids of many generations with Peter Parker.

For those that didn't take the nerd/geek path and follow comic books when they were growing up, well....

Welcome to the 21st Century and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 20 films, and just about as many cameos later, the non-comic book reading world finally got to see what the rest of us already knew:

Marvel Comics are phenomenal!

I get goosebumps and misty eyes when the Marvel Studios banner unfurls... never did I expect to see these films in my lifetime, let alone that they would be so good.

That Stan got to be there when it all gelled into the perfect storm had to be icing on the cake for the man that had a celebrated career, one that will live on because of those very characters that he created/helped create nearly a half century ago.

Stan may have been embarrassed early in his career by what he was doing, and he was never able to be the great American novelist or anything, but I think he had one helluva career.

And if I'm asked who my favorite American author is, it's always Stan Lee, without hesitation.

Go read Amazing Fantasy # 15 again if you don't believe me.

Thank you for shaping my childhood, raising me into adulthood, and letting me share your creations with my children as you shaped yet another generation.

God Speed Stan Lee, you are now, and always will be, THE MAN!

Excelsior!!!