Bruce Willis Did Not Save the Day... "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World"

Ah Steve Carrell.

He's a funny guy, but likes to stretch his dramatic muscles from time to time.

So here he goes again, in an offbeat romantic drama about the end of the world...

The Plot:

There is an asteroid heading to earth.  The shuttle that was sent to destroy it failed.  Earth has 3 weeks left before all of humanity is wiped out.

What would YOU do?


This is an interesting movie to review.  It's a drama that makes you laugh.  It's comedic in the absurdity of the whole situation with the world literally coming to an end, and the ways people react to it.  Then you add a love story that is literally too little, too late for the stars.

It's sweet, a little sad, and there is no happy ending...

Or is there?

That is primarily left to the viewer.  Could one asteroid destroy the world?  Hard to say.  The finale of the movie is simply the easiest way for the story to end, and it works.

The romance between Keira Knightly and Steve Carrell is natural and not-forced.  You watch them grow and care for one another as the clock literally counts down to their, and all of humanity's, end.

In fact, it's both poignant and touching as the last act unfurls and the decisions that they both make to ensure they are ready for the end.

Again, it's a quirky little film.  Worth a viewing, but I can totally see people not enjoying the film as it simply is an odd story.

This is one of those movies to me that is good/great... but I'll never likely want to watch it again.  The rewatchability factor is huge for me with movies.

Give it a try sometime, you might surprise yourself.

What's a Synonym for "Unfunny"?? Oh, I Know... "MacGruber"!!!

Well, I may just have stumbled upon my first film that will be on the "Top Turkeys" of 2013 list.

The Plot:

An amusing 3-5 minute Saturday Night Live sketch comes to life as a 90 minute movie.  It's like MacGyver, only funny!

Except it's not.

I'm not sure how far into the movie I got.  When the van carrying Chris Jericho blew up, I knew there was no hope for redemption in the film.

Then MacGruber solicits the Lt. to help him, offering sexual favors, yeah... I'd had enough, and out it came.

Painfully un-funny, in any and every way that the skit used to be mildly amusing.

Every skit ended the same way:  MacGruber failed and the place blew up.

This movie tried to overlook that, and have everything else blow up, but MacGruber was above it all.

Fail.

To paraphrase the principal in Billy Madison: "Everyone in this room is now dumber for having watched it."

Evil Never Looked So Good..."Snow White and the Huntsman"

Mirror Mirror on the wall...

Okay, let's take a look today at a slightly different version of the Snow White legend...

The story:

Snow White.
Wicked Queen.

So far so good...Huntsman doesn't kill her...got it...instead he helps her, teaches her to fight, and together they try and escape the queen's clutches and bring about her downfall.  Sprinkle in 8 Dwarves, and the rest is history...

Interesting.

So, remember when I said I wasn't able to get into Mirror Mirror?  Yeah, the "other" Snow White picture of the year.

This one, I had no problem with.  It was actually fairly entertaining.

Though I must confess, I did mock the film a few times for lifting scenes (or at least ideas) directly from other films.  

My favorite was when the Queen is interrogating a would-be assassin, and I started chanting "Mola Ram"...

But yes, The Mummy, Jurassic Park and a few other famous lifts were had.

However, it was still an enjoyable journey, provided you can, with a straight face honestly say that:

Kristen Stewart is more beautiful than Charlize Theron.

THAT is the biggest, and most difficult leap of faith the movie asks you to make.

Even at her worst, I'm not buying it, and think the Magic Mirror was slightly broken.

The dwarves are played by non-dwarves, which probably is against union rules, but Hollywood apparently only casts little people as Munchkins, all other fairytale creatures under 4 feet tall will be outsourced to tall actors.

Naturally, Hemsworth is awesome as an underpowered Thor.  The guy is on the verge of being typecast as a brawling action hero.

I am fine with that.

: )

Plus the film leaves you wondering who really was Prince Charming?

Okay, at least who would live happily ever after with Snow White?

Guest Review(s): Rise of the Guardians

So today, I am reviewing a movie that I have not seen.

Rise of the Guardians from Dreamworks.

Okay, that is not entirely accurate.

Today, I am letting the kids take over this review, sort of, to give you their thoughts on the movie.

They are begging to go back to the theater so that I can watch it this time, they swear it is that good.

For those that follow my Facebook page, you've seen the art that my daughters have drawn for the Fan Art Contest.

I was afraid when they all went on opening day, that they had set the bar for expectations so incredibly high that it would be impossible to meet their desires.

It turns out, I worried needlessly.

As the oldest said, "it blew all of my expectations away".

You've all seen the review that says that this is "The Avengers of animated movies" by now.

My kids agreed.

With a month to go, this is their # 2 movie of the year, right behind the Avengers, and ahead of The Amazing Spider-Man.

Pretty good praise from the six of my kids who all have diverse opinions about what is, and is not a good movie.

To quote the oldest: "Rise of the Guardians is, in a word, magical."

Next kid: "Seriously, I could go on and on about how great it was, but I won't."

Third oldest..."Easily one of the best movies of this year."

The 3 non-teens are all in agreement as well.

So I'm looking forward to seeing it.  If it's as good as they claim, I highly anticipate it being on my Top 10 list for NEXT year.

Sorry kids, I won't be heading to the theater that I know of.

: )

Black Friday Review: 2 for the Price of One: The Expendables Franchise

Fans of 80s action flicks rejoiced when the Expendables came out in 2010.

In that film, Stallone leads a team on a top secret mission on behalf of the government.  Mayhem and bloodshed ensued.

In 2012, Stallone leads a team on a top secret mission on behalf of the government.  More mayhem and bloodshed ensued.


I mean, who's kidding who.  You're either a fan of action movies like this, or you're not.  There are very few fence-sitters who wonder:  "hmm...do I want to watch a kick-butt action flick tonight... I'm not sure I'm in the mood for it..."

Yeah, it's always time for an action flick. 

Stallone and company pull no punches either.  The blood spatters everywhere, and bullets, fists, knives, and anything but the kitchen sink gets used in nearly every conceivable way.

The Expendables is streaming currently on Netflix, and is definitely worth a viewing if you've never taken in the carnage.

As for the Expendables 2...

It's even better than the first one.  The romantic subplot is shelved for a tale of straight up revenge when one of their own is killed by...

Van Damme!

Turning the franchise over to Simon West (Con/Air ~ one of the 100 Greatest Movies Ever Made!) was a good decision by Stallone.  While he did just fine helming the first one, it seems like turning the show over to another set of eyes let Stallone concentrate on just having a good time in front of the camera.

It's funnier, bloodier, and just plain better than the predecessor.

Also back for a return, The Governator and Bruce Willis.  Both have extended parts in the film, and provide some fun during the final battle.

Looking forward to seeing what they've got in store with the franchise from here.

If you haven't seen the first, there is no fine points that you'll miss from jumping in on the second part of the franchise.

If you liked the first, you should love the second.

Top 5 "Turkeys" of 2012

With just over a month to go, I figured I would take a minute to look back at the worst movies that I've endured, or at least, attempted to get through over the last calendar year.  Looking back at the Netflix Queue, both instant and delivery, a whopping 18 movies received a 2 star rating from me, which signifies that I didn't like it.

By comparison, 31 movies are currently in the running for Best Films of 2012, so I have a pretty good average.  I don't count the 3 star movies, that would take too long.

: )

With just about every movie on this list, I couldn't stomach it long enough to watch it to conclusion.

Either the movie didn't grab me enough to continue watching past the 20 minute mark (or less!) or I just plain hated it.  I'll try and stick to the "name" movies that you may have heard of, or have in your queue, and see if I can spare you some pain.

: )

Naturally, if you liked any of these movies, congratulations!  They weren't my cup of tea, but to each their own!!

Some of the films that are just outside of the Top 5:

The Iron Lady (the first review on this blog!)

The Grey

Mirror Mirror

And now, for the final 5:

# 5 - Coriolanus ~ An update on Shakespeare's tale of a general who comes back to destroy his city after they cast him aside.  The retellings of Shakespeare usually work, because they also update the bard's speeches to modern English.  When a general starts thee'ing and thou'ing... it's hard to stay engaged.

# 4 - John Carter ~  This big budget adaptation...zzzzz... what?  I'm sorry, where was I ?  The story didn't bring me in, and I found myself popping this one out of the DVD player after about 30 minutes.

# 3 - Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance ~ Here's hoping that this is the death knell for the series, and Johnny Blaze can revert to Marvel Studios where it can be done correctly.  This version made the first Ghost Rider movie look like a cinematic masterpiece.  Absolutely awful.

# 2 - Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star ~ Nick Swardson is luckily friends with Adam Sandler, and Adam Sandler makes movies for his friends.  Nick was hilarious in Just Go With It.  This movie was just painful to watch, and was gone from the DVD player in about 15 minutes.

And the Worst Movie of the Year:

# 1 ~ Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie ~ # 1 with a bullet (to the head) comes some of Will Ferrell's pals from Funny or Die.  The opening credits were funny.  Then the actual movie started, and it wasn't funny, and I wanted to die.

Streaming on Netflix if you want to try.  I couldn't get past the 10 minute mark.


So there you have it.  And I'm thankful that I endured less than an hour, hour and a half of cinematic movie torture this year with this list of films.

Here's to a better 2013 in movies!  More great films, fewer turkeys!!

Based on a True Story..."Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"

Honest Abe just moved up a notch or two on my "Favorite Presidents of All Time" thanks to this movie.

: )

Seriously, the man freed the slaves AND defeated the North American Vampire menace all at once...

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The story:

Young Abraham Lincoln witnesses something..unusual... as a young boy.  What appears to be a vampire kills his mother when he's just a boy.  That sets young Abraham on a path of vengeance.  Luckily, he meets someone who is willing to teach young Abe the tricks of the trade of tangling with the undead.  And so... a legend was born!

Okay, really, this movie is way better than it has any right to be.  It lives up to the title, in spades.  There are two ways to approach this subject.  Over-the-top parody or play it straight.

They opt to play it straight, and it makes the movie work.

Even the oddities of the deaths in Lincoln's family are explained away under cover of the vampire myth.  It's an enjoyable diversion with decent performances by all the actors involved.  Not a whole lot of names in this film, yet some very familiar faces fill the landscape from Lincoln's friends to his bloodsucking enemies.

And the best part?

These vampires don't sparkle.

Just throwing that out there...

I'm thinking that while Spielberg's Lincoln will garner the Oscar buzz, this will be the more entertaining of the two Lincoln pics in theaters this year.

: )

Worth a spin!

Saturday Streamer: The Magic of Belle Isle

You'll come for Morgan Freeman.

You'll stay for a sweet little story.

The story:

An alcoholic, wheelchair bound curmudgeonly ex-writer comes to a rural town to get away for the summer, and perhaps, just maybe, find inspiration to write again.  His agent is pushing to sell the rights to his great western hero, but Monte (Morgan Freeman) is in no mood to sell.  In fact, he's not much in the mood for anything.  Then he meets his new neighbors, a divorced mother of three sweet girls.  And a funny thing begins to happen...

So seriously...

What went wrong with this movie that you've never heard about it?

Dirctor: Rob Reiner.
Star: Morgan Freeman

Released in Theaters... well... 4 of them anyway.

: /

Not sure what happened with Castle Rock Entertainment, but they pretty much sat on this one.  And while it's not going to win an Oscar, it's certainly worth 90 minutes of your time and energy.  As the writer, Morgan Freeman oozes Morgan Freemanesque manner and attitude as a man who just doesn't care about much of anything anymore...and yet when he meets the little girl next door, a spark rekindles and he begins to write again.

But not the stories anyone would think he would write.

It's a charmer.  Quiet movie entertainment for the entire family.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

The Origin of Species... "Prometheus"

Welcome back to Science Fiction, Ridley Scott.  Russell Crowe misses you already.

In fact, I would say that Science Fiction flicks in general have missed Ridley Scott, since of the 32 movies he's directed, this is really his 3rd venture into the genre, but when 2 of your first films are Alien and Blade Runner, you've already put your stamp on the experience.

The story:

Well, the origin of mankind is finally revealed.  We were apparently born from the belly of big aliens that have our DNA!  So awesome of a discovery, a trillion dollar space expedition is sent to the planet in question to find our creators and say "hey dad, wassup?"  Except when we arrive, some very bad things are found, and it's a race to survive the meeting!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Alien: The Beginning.

Because really, that's what this all boils down to.  Sorry if that spoils anything for anyone, but you might as well get the elephant in the room out of the way, he simply takes up much too much space.

So yes, Aliens created mankind...mankind creates Alien.

Poetic justice.

And really, a nice way for Ridley Scott to return to the franchise that probably made him into the sought after director that he is.

Yep, the strong female lead is here.  Dark corridors. Oozing critters.  Exploding bodies.

Plus, it's only obvious that a sequel is possible/inevitable by the way the movie ends, and I'm not talking about the sequel(s) that already exist...from the past.

Holy Back to the Future!

Michael Fassbender brings charm and slime all in one as the ship's robot (don't trust robots...ever...) while Noomi Rapace gets to go all Sigourney Weaver as the doctor who insisted on the trip.  Also along for the ride, the criminally underused Idris Elba as the Captain, Charlize Theron in an extended cameo, and Guy Pearce buried in makeup.

Worth a viewing, and your enjoyment factor will likely increase depending on how much of a fan of Alien, or the entire franchise, you really are.

Hmmm...does that franchise have rabid groupies?

Simply..."Amazing!"

The 2nd best comic-book movie of 2012 is finally here.  You can argue that the 3rd Batman is better, and maybe after I see it, I'll agree.

But until then, Amazing Spider-Man has swung his way onto DVD and the results are impressive.

First, let's take a look at the story:

Socially awkward Peter Parker is bitten by a genetically modified spider.  He then makes a horrible decision that changes his life, forever.

That's the legend of Spider-Man, in a nutshell.  Tinker, twist and manipulate his origin any way you want, that's the bottom line to the story.

So how does this franchise reboot compare/contrast to the 2002 original?

First, what went wrong: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.  Somehow, that mantra that gives you goosebumps... sorta falls flat and doesn't come across in the film like it should.

Where did it go right:  Everywhere else.

: )

First, let me go on record for the first time written down that I can recall:

Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man was dreadful.  He wasn't nerdy. He wasn't smart. He wasn't funny.  Never cared for the choice back then, was more than happy when they started over.

Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson.  In 2002, I disagreed with the choice and the casting.  If anything, she should have been Gwen Stacy, and been killed.

Immediately.  I've never particularly warmed to her as an actress.  She's not pretty, which is a prerequisite for MJ, a gorgeous redhead who would/could (did!) become a super-model.

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are way better choices.  The chemistry is there from the beginning, and the relationship they develop does not feel forced.

The fact that they returned Peter Parker his brains, and let him develop his own web-shooters?  That was icing on the cake.

So yes, I can expunge the previous trilogy from my mind as a bad experience, chuck those discs, and start over saying THIS is the Spider-Man I've been waiting for.

The only thing missing was J.J.J., but I have hopes they will bring him to the forefront with the sequel.

Otherwise, the film lived up to its billing:  "Amazing"

Highly recommended.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas. "Arthur Christmas"!

It's never too soon to review a Christmas movie.  Heck, if you haven't started watching them by now, there is no way to cram all of that holiday goodness into the span of anything less than 2 months!  So get to cracking people.  And today is a great way to start the holiday season off right, one that could very well land on the recurring annual viewing list for Christmas.

The story:

The secrets of Santa stand revealed as we learn just how Santa can deliver 2 Billion presents in one short night.  Unfortunately, one present is overlooked on the delivery route, and there just isn't time to make another trip to make the delivery.  But what's 1 out of 2 billion, right?  It's a less than 1% failure rate.  Pretty good in this day and age.  Except Santa's youngest son, Arthur, firmly believes that no child should be left behind!  So with the help of his grandfather, and some old school technology, they set out to deliver the gift before the sun rises on her town.

What could possibly go wrong?

Everything. Anything.

It's hilarious.


To give away much else that happens gives away too much of the fun that ensues throughout the movie.  Plus, it doesn't feel rushed...nor too long.  Both very important with your holiday films.

This venture from Aardman strays from their usual stop-motion that put the studio on the map.  The characters have similarities in features to other Aardman vehicles, but not overly so.  They assemble a great vocal cast including James McAvoy (X-Men: First Class), Hugh Laurie (House M.D.), Jim Broadbent and Bill Nighy.

So yes, your Santa speaks with an accent. : )

Otherwise, sit back, enjoy the show, and get in the Christmas Spirit.

Highly recommended, and for this family, it will be purchased and become a worthy addition to the annual Christmas movies that can be found playing at least one a day through Christmas every year.

When You Just Want To Have a Baby... "Friends With Kids"

Today's movie is: Friends With Kids.

Here's a romantic comedy...

Without the romance?!?

The plot:

A group of friends, 2 married couples and 2 perpetual singles, have been friends for ages.  However, as the married couples begin to have children, the friendship dynamic changes as family commitments rear their ugly head at the most inopportune times.  As the two singles realize, you can't have sex and children, the family unit poisons the sexual relationship...and it seems like divorced people have it right by only having to deal with kids part of the time.  These two decide that they will have a kid together, get the hard part of a relationship over, while they continue to look for their Mr/Mrs. Right.

What could possibly go wrong?

It is a fun, and interesting premise.  You have two married couples on the extremes: one is meant for family, the other couple's relationship the children are indeed a burden.  Then you have the singles who make it seem rather easy...at first...but then life and the baby complicate things.  Then what happens when/if Mr. or Mrs. Right never comes?

The actors involved do a great job.  I had seen 5 of the 6 in other movies and have enjoyed all of their work.  Amazingly, Jennifer Westfeldt turns out to be a Jack of All Trades with this film.  I've never watched any of her previous work, but this was her 3rd film that she wrote, the first that she directed, and she was also the star.

Well played ma'am, well played.


Taking a cue from many other great actor/director combos, while she has plenty to do, many of the laughs and best lines are divided amongst her co-stars.  She is not a prima donna by any means...or so it would seem to me.  Her leading man, Adam Scott plays his usual fun self.  When last I saw him in the movies, he was trying to save the day in Piranha. :)

The movie isn't gut-busting hilarious, nor is it the usual R-Rated Raunchfest.  The laughs and smiles are plentiful and they keep coming.  Eventually you are so entrenched in this group of friends that the laughs and tears are from genuinely caring, not just because of the line that was written.

Definitely worth a spin if you've not seen it.

Saturday Streamer: Footloose

When is a remake, not a remake?

When it's better than the original.

Bacon Blasphemy!

And so lies the conundrum of Footloose.  The soundtrack we grew up to in the 80s comes back to haunt us in the 20Teens in a movie wherein the original story comes back to life!

The story:

A young man comes to a town that forbids the teenagers to dance.
Dancing ensues.

Seriously.

How much plot am I supposed to give away?

To be fair, I did not grow up with the movie Footloose.  I saw it for the first time last year, I think.  Therefore, I don't have the rose-colored glasses that made me think "how dare you mess with the classic!"

No, my first thought after seeing the original was... wow... people really thought that was a good movie?!  Cheesy!!  But perfect for a town of non-dancing teens to suddenly pull off Hollywood choreography at a moment's notice!

Instead, with the remake, most of the plot holes you could drive a tractor through, have been shored up to make this movie much more believable, and consistent with how life might actually work.  You see, all these teens secretly dance, so the great big blow out at the end makes sense.

That said, the dancing alone in the old building with the VW is still the silliest scene filmed... in both movies!

: )

Both are currently available for streaming on  Netflix.

The original: 3 out of 5
The remake: 4 out of 5